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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer. Each of us has to find out for ourselves what makes our life meaningful. But we can learn from each other, share our experiences of how to navigate the journey, how to endure and learn from the swamp, and finally how to find solid ground. I have decided to use my original training in radio and journalism to interview witnesses for what makes life meaningful. Each week, I invite someone who is a therapist, academic, self-help coach or who has an enlightening personal story to share their knowledge or experiences. I hope our discussions will help you discover what makes your life meaningful and find more purpose and contentment.
Episodes
Monday Jun 20, 2022
Monday Jun 20, 2022
How do you survive the loss of your life’s partner? How does grief relate to love? And how do you navigate the sometimes clumsy responses to grief from those around you?
Writer, activist and speaker Catherine Mayer has spent the years since 2020 charting the depths of loss and grief. In early 2020 her husband, renowned guitarist and producer Andy Gill, died after returning from his band Gang of Four’s China tour. This came just months after her beloved stepfather died of Covid-19.
Locked down alone in the early months of the pandemic, Catherine and her mother, Anne Mayer Bird, found ways to navigate their losses and the startling questions and challenges that confronted them. Together they wrote Good Grief: Embracing Life at a Time of Death.
In this episode Andrew and Catherine share their thoughts and feelings on the devastating experience that is the death of a partner. They talk about loneliness, pain and the process of writing it all down.
Catherine Mayer is the co-founder and President of the Women’s Equality Party. She also co-founded the Primadonna Festival, which had its debut in 2019. Catherine is a writer, activist and speaker, and is the author of four books.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Catherine Mayer and Anne Mayer Bird’s new book Good Grief: Embracing Life at a Time of Death
Read Catherine Mayer’s other books Attack of the Fifty Foot Women, Charles: The Heart of a King, and Amortality: the Pleasures and Perils of Living Agelessly.
Learn more about The Women’s Equality Party and the Primadonna Festival.
Listen to The Problem of Leisure, a new album of Andy Gill’s music executive-produced by Catherine Mayer.
Follow Catherine Mayer on Twitter @catherine_mayer
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall
Read Andrew’s memoir My Mourning Year
You may be interested to listen to other The Meaningful Life episodes exploring grief and loss, including Finding Meaning: the Sixth Stage of Grief with David Kessler, What You’ve Been Told About Death Might be Wrong, with Dr Kathryn Mannix, and Getting Out of Your Own Way with Christina Patterson.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Jun 13, 2022
Monday Jun 13, 2022
Many older people, particularly women, are “divorce-curious”. They wonder about life on the other side of a tired marriage, and feel that perhaps it isn’t too late. Could a divorce be the route to rediscovering passion, stimulation and new experiences?
Others are in the position of having a divorce thrust upon them, and are left to work through the pain and upheaval a split can cause in later life, both for themselves and the family unit.
Linda Hershman is an expert on the “silver divorce” and has worked extensively to help couples navigate divorce. In this episode, Linda and Andrew discuss:
⭐️ Deciding whether it is in fact your relationship that’s the problem
⭐️ First steps if you are among the “divorce-curious”
⭐️ The impact of silver divorce on adult children
⭐️ The practical and financial impact divorce can have, particularly on women
⭐️ Discernment counselling - a style of marital counselling for “mixed-agenda” couples, where one wants to stay and the other wants to leave.
Linda Hershman is the author of Gray Divorce: Everything You Need to Know About Later-Life Breakups. She has worked as a marriage and family therapist for more than 25 years, and has presented internationally on silver divorce and the adult children of divorce. Linda lives in Philadelphia and loves knitting, hiking and travelling.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Linda Hershman’s book Gray Divorce: Everything You Need to Know About Later-Life Breakups
Learn more about discernment counselling
Read Andrew’s blog ‘Are You Facing Long-Term Marriage Problems? How to Avoid the “Silver Divorce”’
Read Andrew’s book Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Jun 06, 2022
Monday Jun 06, 2022
Christina Patterson found herself in the heartbreaking position of being the last one left in a loving and beloved family. She took on the task of writing the story of her family and her place in it.
In the process, Christina explored the ways in which our personal history can cause us to “get in our way”, self-sabotaging as we work through the suffering experienced both by ourselves and others in the family.
Christina and Andrew also discuss:
- Living with mental illness
- Finding and losing religion
- Loss and grief
- The healing effects of writing
Christina Patterson lives and works in London as a broadcaster and coach, as well as being the author of two memoirs, Outside, the Sky is Blue and The Art of Not Falling Apart.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Christina Patterson’s new book Outside, the Sky is Blue: A Family Memoir, and her first book The Art of Not Falling Apart
Listen to Christina Patterson’s podcast and read her Substack newsletter on The Art of Work.
Follow Christina Patterson on Twitter @queenchristina_
Visit Christina Patterson’s website
Christina Patterson’s list of some of the memoirs by other authors she has most enjoyed reading:
- Bad Blood by Lorna Sage
- Giving Up the Ghost by Hilary Mantel
- Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight: An African Childhood by Alexandra Fuller.
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall
Read Andrew’s memoirs My Mourning Year and The Power of Dog.
Read Andrew’s blog on how keeping a journal can help you achieve the change you want Top Twelve Benefits of Journaling.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday May 30, 2022
Monday May 30, 2022
Doing a lot of things won’t get you where you want to go. According to “Digital Dale Carnegie” and best-selling author Erik Qualman, it’s become increasingly hard to achieve the things that mean the most to us.
Modern life splinters our attention span and makes it extremely challenging to hone in on what matters.
Erik Qualman interviewed hundreds of people for his book, The Focus Project, including parents, teachers and entrepreneurs. They all felt that success depended on the extent to which they had been able to focus on their goals.
In this episode, Andrew and Erik talk about how to do the important things, rather than doing too many things. In fact, doing LESS is likely to leave you more successful and more fulfilled.
Erik Qualman is a five times best-selling author and keynote speaker. He has spoken in over 55 countries and was voted the second most likeable author in the world. His work on Socialnomics has been used by organisations including NBC and NASA. He has an honorary doctorate for his work on the digital universe, and is the founder of Equalman Studios.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there.
Visit Erik Qualman’s website
Read Erik Qualman’s book The Focus Project: The Not So Simple Art of Doing Less
Read Erik Qualman’s other books, including Socialnomics, Digital Leader and What Happens on Campus Stays on YouTube.
Follow Erik Qualman on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @equalman
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
You might also enjoy Andrew’s conversation with Professor Dilip Jeste about Five Ways to Become Wiser.
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier: https://andrewgmarshall.com/book/wake-up-and-change-your-life-how-to-survive-a-crisis-and-be-stronger-wiser-and-happier/
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday May 23, 2022
Monday May 23, 2022
Sometimes things feel way too complicated. You’re working hard, taking care of your family, you have enough money - but things still just don’t feel right. You push on, looking forward to your next holiday or a night out with friends, but the day to day is grey and exhausting.
Wellness practitioner, CEO, yoga instructor and clinical social worker Julie Wald specialises in working with people who are close to burnout. She cuts through the wellness noise all around us to zero in on what it is we actually need to change in order to feel good.
And it isn’t the big things like careers, partners or home. It’s HOW we live each day.
Andrew and Julie also discuss Julie’s four pillars of wellness:
⭐️ Movement
⭐️ Stillness
⭐️ Touch
⭐️ Nourishment
Julie Wald is the founder and CEO of Golden, a global leader in wellness education and employee self-care programs. She is the author of the Amazon #1 bestselling book, Inner Wealth: How Wellness Heals, Nurtures and Optimizes Ultra-Successful People. In August, Women We Admire named her one of The Top 100 Women Leaders in Healthcare of 2021.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there.
Read Inner Wealth, Julie Wald’s new book.
Visit Golden, Julie Wald’s website.
Follow Julie Wald on social media: on Instagram @hey.its.golden, and on Facebook and LinkedIn @heyitsgolden
Get in touch with Julie Wald at julie@heyitsgolden.com
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Read Andrew’s advice on keeping a journal of your life and emotions
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday May 16, 2022
Monday May 16, 2022
David Kessler is one of the world’s best-known experts on grief, yet nothing could prepare him for the loss of his beloved son at the age of 21. Just as he’d advised his clients for decades, David attended grief groups, saw a therapist and sat with his pain.
In this episode, Andrew and David discuss how society wants us to grieve versus the reality of loss. We will likely never “get over” the loss of someone close to us, nor will we learn life lessons that somehow compensate us for our pain. It is possible, though, to locate meaning in how we survive and experience loss.
Andrew and David also explore Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s famous and now much contested “five stages of grief” (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) and discuss how useful they are in today’s landscape.
David Kessler’s new book is Finding Meaning:The Sixth Stage of Grief. His previous books have been praised by Saint (Mother) Theresa, and Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. He has co-authored two books with Louise Hay and Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. David also creates online communities who take courses together to learn more about the process of grieving.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there.
Join David Kessler’s online healing group, Healing the Five Areas of Grief.
Visit David Kessler’s website to explore resources including videos, webinars, books and training courses.
Follow David Kessler on Twitter and Instagram @IamDavidKessler and on Facebook @DavidKessler.
Read Andrew’s book on grieving the loss of his partner My Mourning Year
You may also wish to listen to Andrew’s interview with palliative care physician and author Dr Kathryn Mannix, What You’ve Been Told About Death Might Be Wrong.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50
Monday May 09, 2022
Monday May 09, 2022
Shame is one of the emotions we find hardest to talk about. It can feel paralysing, and is linked to despair, imposter syndrome, fear and the sense of an impending doom.
This week’s guest, psychologist and author Dr Stephan Poulter, is the author of Shame Factor: Heal Your Deepest Fears and Set Yourself Free. Andrew and Dr Poulter discuss how shame makes us feel - paralysed, unclean, not good enough, defective - and how we can reduce its impact on our lives.
As Dr Poulter states, “the best analogy is this gold brick inside you. Shame covers it with mud. Our work is to hose off the mud, and find the gold brick”.
Dr. Stephan B. Poulter, Ph.D is a psychologist, author and public speaker working in Los Angeles. He is also a theological seminary graduate and a former police officer. Dr Poulter has worked with hundreds of individuals, couples and families, and regularly speaks on parenting, adolescent and spiritual/psychological issues.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there
Buy Dr Stephan Poulter’s books, including Shame Factor: Heal Your Deepest Fears and Set Yourself Free, The Art of Successful Failure and The Father Factor.
Follow Dr Stephan Poulter on Twitter @StephanPoulter and on Facebook @DrStephanPoulter-PsychotherapistandAuthor
Read Andrew’s blog on how keeping a journal can help you manage difficult emotions: Top Twelve Benefits of Journaling
Fear is a close companion to shame. You may also enjoy Andrew’s interview with Thom Rutledge on Embracing Fear in Four Steps
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday May 02, 2022
Monday May 02, 2022
Teenagers have a big reputation for being hard to talk to. How can you find that spark of connection with your teen? Is there a way to set up a channel of communication so that you can help them through the rough patches?
In this episode Andrew talks to Australian teacher and author Daisy Turnbull about her new book, 50 Questions to Ask Your Teens.
Daisy shares insights from her work as a teacher, as well as from her own teenage years growing up in a household where both parents had high-profile and demanding careers.
Building a habit of positive communication with teenagers is possible, according to Daisy. Strategies include:
⚡️Asking “what do you think about that?”, and “tell me more?”.
⚡️Having some family rituals, such as a gratitude practice around the dinner table.
⚡️Choosing your moment: car-trips are perfect as they don’t require direct eye contact and are timebound.
Andrew and Daisy also discuss the impact of social media on teens, building kids' independence and confidence, managing your career around your family and sharing parenting responsibilities.
Daisy Turnbull is an author, teacher, mother and Lifeline volunteer who lives in Sydney, Australia.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there.
Read Daisy Turnbull’s books 50 Questions to Ask Your Teens and 50 Risks to Take With Your Kids.
Follow Daisy Turnbull on Twitter @ms_dzt
Watch "It's Not About the Nail", the hugely popular YouTube video mentioned by Daisy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Read Andrew’s book on building a stronger relationship as parents: I Love You But You Always Put Me Last: How to Child-Proof Your Marriage
Listen to some of our other parenting episodes:
- Philippa Perry on on What You Wish Your Parents Knew & What You Hope Your Children Learn,
- Lisa Marchiano on Being a Mother,
- Jack Underwood on Becoming a Father,
- Anita Cleare on Positive Parenting
- Amanda Seyderhelm on Coping With Childhood Grief.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Apr 25, 2022
Monday Apr 25, 2022
Finding meaning and fulfillment in the second half of life requires us to make a conscious transition. We must explore “the unconscious denial and resistance that erupts around key thresholds of later life” if we are to be happy as elders.
In this episode, psychotherapist and author Connie Zweig, PhD talks with Andrew about how to become an elder who is filled with purpose and vitality. She explains the concept of “shadow-work”, and how it can help you:
⚡️Repair the past and be fully present
⚡️Accept yourself as you are
⚡️Rediscover the creativity you may have lost along the way.
⚡️Move “from role to soul”.
Connie Zweig, Ph.D., is a retired psychotherapist, writer, and Climate Reality Leader. Known as the Shadow Expert, she has written several books about shadow-work, as well as her newest best-seller on aging as a spiritual practice, The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul. The Inner Work of Age won both the 2021 American Book Fest Award and the 2021 Best Indie Book Award for best inspirational non-fiction.
Connie has been doing contemplative practices for more than 50 years, and is a wife, stepmother and grandmother. After all these roles, she’s practicing the shift from role to soul.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
If you're interested in joining one of Dr Connie Zweig's groups, you can email her at conniezweig@gmail.com
Buy The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul.
Take a look at Dr Connie Zweig’s other books
Visit Dr Connie Zweig’s website
Follow Dr Connie Zweig on Twitter @InnerWorkofAge and on Facebook at @Dr.ConnieZweig.
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Read Andrew’s blog “How To Avoid the Silver Divorce”
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Apr 18, 2022
Monday Apr 18, 2022
Everything is always changing, and nothing is ever the same. If we think about it, we all know that. But we tend to live differently, as though we can hang onto the same fixed self, the same ways of doing things, and the same people around us.
Alan Lessik, author and Zen practitioner, is an expert in change. He is known by his friends as someone who takes fearless leaps into new jobs, new countries and new possibilities. He has regularly made life-changes so huge they felt like jumping off a cliff.
In this episode, Andrew and Alan talk about how we deal with change, and the usefulness of the “backward step”. They discuss Alan’s practice of Zen meditation, and Alan shares the following quote from Eihei Dogen, founder of Zen Buddhism in Japan:
“You should stop searching for phrases and chasing after words. Take the backward step and turn the light inward. Your body-mind in itself will drop off and your original face will appear. If you want to attain just this (suchness), immediately practice just this (suchness).”
Alan Lessik is a writer and novelist, zen practitioner, amateur figure skater, and LGBT activist. He has worked in the US and over twenty-two other countries and has served in leadership positions in numerous non-governmental organizations, university and governmental entities. Alan’s debut novel, The Troubleseeker, was a finalist for the 2017 LGBTQ Fiction Award given by the Publishing Triangle. He recently moved from the US to Berlin, where he is working on two new novels.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Find out more about Alan Lessik’s writing and work on his website
Watch Alan Lessik’s figure-skating videos on YouTube
Follow Alan Lessik on Twitter @AlanLessik
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
If you are interested in meditation and mindfulness, you might also like to listen to Andrew’s interview with Dr Henry Emmons on how to Bring More Calm and Joy Into Your Life
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall