The Meaningful Life with Andrew G. Marshall

Irene Fehr: Why Desire Disappears in Committed Relationships

July 18, 2022

Why do women stop wanting sex? Why is it so hard to recapture the intoxicating desire of those wonderful early weeks and months of your relationship?

Irene Fehr has spent a decade working with couples as a sex and intimacy coach. Her specialty is women’s libido and sexual desire in long-term relationships.

In this episode Andrew and Irene discuss the nature of desire. Unless we understand what compels and creates desire at different life stages, we will not be able to create a passionate, connected sexual life that meets both partner’s needs.

As well as understanding desire, there are also practical steps you can take to rekindle your connection. Fencing off time away from your children (including the controversial act of locking the bedroom door) is key; as is taking small amounts of time each day (rather than weekly date nights) to spend in complete, uninterrupted togetherness. 

And if you are one of our wonderful Apple, Spotify or Patreon paying subscribers, this week’s bonus material sees Andrew and Irene discussing Seven Common Traps for Couples Making Love.

Irene Fehr is a sex and intimacy coach. Her articles and advice on sex, female libido and sexual pleasure are regularly featured in publications including Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan and Thought Catalog.

 

Follow Up

Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there

Take Irene Fehr’s free video course on How to Want to Have Sex Again 

Learn more about Feed Your Libido, Irene Fehr’s signature online program for women.

Visit Irene Fehr’s website

Follow Irene Fehr on Twitter and YouTube @ignitedwoman  and on LinkedIn.

Read the books discussed in this episode: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sherrie Winston, and The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld.

Find out more about Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent 

Listen to other The Meaningful Life episodes on sex and relationships: Tracey Cox on Great Sex After Fifty and Dr Terry Real on Five Traps that Undermine Your Love

 Read Andrew’s book Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love

Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. 

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