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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer. Each of us has to find out for ourselves what makes our life meaningful. But we can learn from each other, share our experiences of how to navigate the journey, how to endure and learn from the swamp, and finally how to find solid ground. I have decided to use my original training in radio and journalism to interview witnesses for what makes life meaningful. Each week, I invite someone who is a therapist, academic, self-help coach or who has an enlightening personal story to share their knowledge or experiences. I hope our discussions will help you discover what makes your life meaningful and find more purpose and contentment.
Episodes
5 days ago
5 days ago
Psychotherapist Tonya Lester believes it’s OK to be difficult. This doesn’t mean being rigid, domineering or unkind. It means making sure that your partner has a sense of who you are and what you need. Of course, you won’t get there without learning how to disagree productively.
In this episode Andrew and Tonya discuss how to develop mutually supportive relationships, including 8 ingredients for healthy conflict.
They also discuss Tonya’s recent New York Times article, “Couples Therapist, Heal Thyself”, about what it’s like to go into marriage counselling as a therapist.
Tonya Lester is a psychotherapist in Brooklyn, New York, with over 16 years of experience counselling couples. In her upcoming book, Be Difficult: A Guide to Speaking Up, Facing Conflict, and Changing, Tonya writes about her experience with women who seem empowered in other areas of their lives but are overly deferential and accommodating in their relationships.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️How to confess to infidelity.
⭐️Three things Tonya Lester knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Visit Tonya Lester’s website.
Read Tonya Lester’s New York Times article “Couples Therapist, Heal Thyself”.
Follow Tonya Lester on Instagram @tonyalesterpsychotherapy
You might also enjoy these episodes: Olivier Clerc on Forgiveness, or Terry Real on The Five Traps that Undermine Your Love.
Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday May 29, 2023
Monday May 29, 2023
Is it possible to decide to be happier, and then to go out there and make it happen? Hypnotherapist, author and podcaster Richard Nicholls believes that happiness is, at least in part, a skill to be learned. The more you practise, the easier it becomes.
Of course, each individual’s notion of happiness and their genetic capacity to achieve it easily will be very different. That doesn’t mean, though, that we shouldn't decide to influence those aspects of happiness that ARE inside our control.
In this episode Andrew and Richard discuss the nature of happiness, and the things we can do to make it more a part of our everyday lives.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️Dealing with comparison culture.
⭐️Three things Richard Nicholls knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Richard Nicholls’ book 15 Minutes to Happiness
Visit Richard Nicholls’ website
Listen to the Therapy Natters podcast Richard Nicholls co-hosts with Fiona Biddle.
Follow Richard Nicholls on Twitter @richardnicholls, on Facebook @RichardNichollsAuthor and on Instagram @RichardNichollsReal.
You might also enjoy Andrew's interviews with Henry Emmons on Bring More Calm and Joy Into Your Life, or with Charlotte Fox Weber on What Do You Really Want?
Read Andrew’s book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday May 22, 2023
Monday May 22, 2023
If you’re in relationship with a partner who is on the autism spectrum, the following may feel familiar:
- My partner seems to lack empathy and doesn’t care how I feel
- My partner misjudges me all the time - I can’t do anything right
- I can’t seem to find a way to communicate with my partner
- My partner feels attacked and criticised if I disagree
- We argue all the time and never resolve anything
- My partner just walks away when things get emotional
- We've been together for a long time and I am lonelier than I have ever been in my life
This week Sarah Swenson, a counselor specialising in working with neurodiverse couples, highlights some of challenges these couples face, and shares her ideas on how to build a happy relationship that can work for both partners.
Andrew and Sarah also discuss several listener letters on challenges faced by neurodiverse couples.
Sarah Swenson is a licensed mental health counselor based in Seattle, Washington. Her practice is focused on supporting the needs of neurodiverse couples in which one partner is or may be autistic.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️The problems with being highly intelligent.
⭐️Three things Sarah Swenson knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Visit Sarah Swenson’s website
Find out about Sarah Swenson’s online courses for neurodiverse couples.
Read Sarah Swenson’s Substack newsletter for neurotypical individuals whose partners are or may be autistic.
Find out about Sarah Swenson’s work counselling highly intelligent individuals.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday May 15, 2023
Monday May 15, 2023
Forgiveness is a powerful spiritual tool that can bring profound relief, and unleash feelings of love blocked for years by personal resentments.
In this episode, Andrew discusses forgiveness with author and forgiveness expert Olivier Clerc. They cover:
⭐️4 essential steps to forgiveness
⭐️Obstacles to forgiveness
⭐️The importance of spending time deciding what exactly forgiveness means to you.
Olivier Clerc is a writer, lecturer and workshop-leader, specialising in self-help and spirituality. He is also the creator of Circles of Forgiveness, of which there are now 250, in 15 different countries. Olivier is the author of 22 books, the latest of which is Healing the Wounds of the Heart: 15 Obstacles to Forgiveness and How to Overcome Them.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️How taking things personally is an obstacle to forgiveness
⭐️Three things Olivier Clerc knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Olivier Clerc’s latest book, Healing the Wounds of the Heart: 15 Obstacles to Forgiveness and How to Overcome Them
Read Olivier Clerc’s book The Gift of Forgiveness: A Magical Encounter with don Miguel Ruiz
Visit Olivier Clerc’s website
Follow Olivier Clerc on Instagram @olivier_clerc_auteur
Visit The Forgiveness Project's website
Read The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, by Don Miguel Ruiz.
Read Radical Self-Forgiveness: The Direct Path to True Self-Acceptance by Colin Tipping.
Listen to our other episode on forgiveness: Dr Frederic Luskin on Forgiveness: What It Is, and What It Is Not
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday May 08, 2023
Monday May 08, 2023
Motherhood gets great PR: women are led by society to expect it to be continuously fulfilling and wonderful. The reality is, of course, more complicated. Children absorb so much of our energy that there can be too little left over to maintain a healthy sense of self.
Writer and journalist Geraldine Walsh is the author of Unraveling Motherhood, which explores postnatal depression, the “supermum myth”, the importance of boundaries in motherhood and how to embrace a good enough mother mentality.
Andrew and Geraldine explore many aspects of parenting, including strategies you can use to self-nurture, whilst also modelling good mental health practices to your children.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️Superhero therapy
⭐️Three things Geraldine Walsh knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Buy Geraldine Walsh’s book Unraveling Motherhood: Understanding Your Experience Through Self-Reflection, Self-Care, and Authenticity
Visit Geraldine Walsh’s website
Follow Geraldine Walsh on Instagram and Twitter @_GeraldineWalsh
Read Andrew’s book on relationships and parenting I Love You But You Always Put Me Last: How to Childproof Your Marriage
You might also enjoy Andrew’s interviews with psychoanalyst Lisa Marchiano on Being a Mother: a Journey of Self Discovery or with author Dawn Kohler on When the Call to Be Yourself Can No Longer Be Ignored.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday May 01, 2023
Monday May 01, 2023
There’s no-one in the world who can push your buttons like your brother or sister. Sibling relationships (whether you live in the same postcode or ceased speaking to one another three decades ago) have a definitive influence on our adult lives.
This week author and academic Dr Geoffrey Greif talks us through his extensive research on adult sibling relationships, based on hundreds of interviews and surveys.
Adult sibling relationships are often characterized by ambivalence and ambiguity, and they may also be hurtful, uncertain, competitive, or exhausting, even when the undercurrents of love and loyalty remain.
Tensions kept simmering under the surface through years of avoidance can erupt to the surface when, for example, an elderly parent takes a turn for the worse.
As well as discussing Dr Greif’s book, Adult Sibling Relationships, Andrew and Dr Greif also discuss how to find the positive aspects of your sibling relationships, and how to decide if it’s possible and/or worthwhile to rebuild healthier ties and find family closeness.
Dr Geoffrey Greif is a professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work. He is the author of 14 books, including four that are co-edited, and more than 135 journal articles and book chapters. He has also researched male friendships; couple friendships; in-law relationships; and single fathers.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️How to improve your relationship with your in-laws
⭐️Three things Geoffrey Greif knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Dr Geoffrey Grief’s book Adult Sibling Relationships
Read Dr Geoffrey Greif’s other books, which include Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships and Two Plus Two: Couples and Their Couple Friendships
You might also enjoy Andrew’s interviews with Philippa Perry on What You Wish Your Parents Knew and with Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton on Good Boundaries.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Apr 24, 2023
Monday Apr 24, 2023
Love and relationships are already complicated, but they can feel even more so if you’re living with a mental health condition.
This week author Allison Raskin talks about her experiences with OCD, and how overthinking can be managed in relationships and dating. How do you talk to a partner about your mental health? What is the difference between having valid concerns and catastrophising? What can you do if you’re overwhelmed by negative thoughts?
Allison Raskin is a New York Times bestselling author and podcaster. Her latest book is Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression. She also has a highly successful YouTube channel, Just Between Us, and has worked as a screenwriter for Netflix, MTV and 20th Century Television.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️How to keep going when looking for love, change or growth
⭐️Three things Allison Raskin knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Allison Raskin’s new book Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression
Watch Allison Raskin on her YouTube channel Just Between Us
Follow Allison Raskin on Instagram @emotionalsupportlady and on Twitter @AllisonRaskin.
Visit Allison Raskin's website
You might also enjoy Andrew’s interviews with Kathleen Smith on Making Anxiety Your Friend and with Kate Lucey on Depression: What Worked For Me.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Apr 17, 2023
Monday Apr 17, 2023
If you often feel depressed, anxious, victimised or disappointed, you may be carrying a heavy load of unresolved emotional pain.
Psychotherapist and author Robert Jackman suggests that this pain, and associated patterns of behaviour, often stem from our lost inner child. This inner child brings with him or her a false narrative; played on repeat.
Painful childhood experiences can show up in adulthood as explosive anger, isolation, bad relationship choices, negative self-talk, feelings of being overwhelmed, being a people pleaser, and keeping others at arm's length.
This week Andrew and Robert talk about identifying your lost inner child, how to talk to them, and how to heal some of this emotional pain in order to embrace a more authentic life.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️Healing your wounded relationship
⭐️Three things Robert Jackman knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Buy Robert Jackman’s books Healing Your Lost Inner Child, The Tender Path of Grief and Loss and Healing Your Wounded Relationship
Visit Robert Jackman’s website.
You might also enjoy Andrew’s interviews with William Ayot on Healing Men’s Souls and with Paul Gilbert on Compassion and Self-Acceptance.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Apr 10, 2023
Monday Apr 10, 2023
What if we’ve gotten meaning all wrong? Perhaps “searching for meaning” is completely the wrong way to think about things. If we can reconceptualise, it may be far easier to build a life suffused with meaning and joy.
Dr Eric Maisel has been fascinated by the subject of meaning since he was a small child. This week Andrew and Eric discuss Eric’s new book, which suggests that meaning is just a feeling, and that purpose is a choice.
Dr. Eric Maisel is the author of more than 50 books. His interests include creativity, life purpose and meaning; mental health and critical psychology; and parenting in a “mental disorder” age. Dr. Maisel writes the “Rethinking Mental Health” blog for Psychology Today and is a regular contributor to Mad in America, where he founded and edited its parent resources section. Among his favourite things are leading Deep Writing workshops around the world (in places like Paris, London, Rome, Dublin, Prague, New York and San Francisco), working with individual creativity coaching clients, and producing interesting and useful programs (like his Life Purpose Boot Camp Self-Paced Instructor Training).
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️How to identify your life's purpose in 8 weeks.
⭐️Three things Eric Maisel knows to be true.
⭐️AND you will also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Dr Eric Maisel’s latest books, including Redesign Your Mind and Unleashing the Artist Within.
Visit Dr Eric Maisel’s websites:
http://www.ericmaiselsolutions.com
http://www.thefutureofmentalhealth.com
Follow Dr Eric Maisel on Twitter and Instagram @ericmaisel
You might also enjoy Andrew’s interviews with Nathanael Garrett Novosel on The Meaning of LIfe is Growth or with Richard Lang on Seeing Who You Really Are.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Apr 03, 2023
Monday Apr 03, 2023
After her 13-year-old son Koby was murdered by terrorists, Sherri Mandell was forced to explore the nature of spiritual resilience in the face of overwhelming grief.
In her book The Road to Resilience Sherri outlines seven steps required to face suffering and be enlarged:
- Chaos
- Community
- Choice
- Creativity
- Commemoration (discussed in bonus episode for supporters)
- Consecration (discussed in bonus episode for supporters)
- Celebration (discussed in bonus episode for supporters)
Andrew and Sherri discuss these seven steps; and also explore the power of creativity to find your inner truth (the subject of Sherri’s latest book, The Kabbalah of Writing).
Sherri Mandell is a prize-winning author, speaker, lecturer and counselor based in Israel. She and her husband are the directors of the Koby Mandell Foundation, which runs healing groups and camps for bereaved families and children.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️The final three Cs: Commemoration, Consecration, Celebration
⭐️Three things Sherri Mandell knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Sherri Mandell’s books The Kabbalah of Writing and The Road to Resilience
Learn more about Sherri Mandell and the Koby Mandell Foundation https://www.kobymandell.org/
Follow Sherri Mandell on Facebook @SherriMandell
You might also enjoy Andrew’s interviews with James Hollis on How to be Resilient and with Niamh Fitzpatrick on Tell Me the Truth About Loss
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall