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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer. Each of us has to find out for ourselves what makes our life meaningful. But we can learn from each other, share our experiences of how to navigate the journey, how to endure and learn from the swamp, and finally how to find solid ground. I have decided to use my original training in radio and journalism to interview witnesses for what makes life meaningful. Each week, I invite someone who is a therapist, academic, self-help coach or who has an enlightening personal story to share their knowledge or experiences. I hope our discussions will help you discover what makes your life meaningful and find more purpose and contentment.
Episodes
Monday Mar 20, 2023
Monday Mar 20, 2023
These days “narcissist” has become the insult of choice for many of us caught on the wrong side of arrogance, self-absorption or monotonous bragging.
Narcissism is more complex than that, however, and an empathetic understanding of it can make it much easier to deal with partners or family members with narcissistic traits, or with full-blown narcissistic personality disorder.
This week clinical psychologist Dr Ruth Ann Harpur discusses with Andrew the origins of narcissism, the “Echo” phenomenon, and why partners of narcissists need to focus more on their own needs and sense of self.
Dr Ruth Ann Harpur specialises in relationships and issues of narcissism. She qualified as a clinical psychologist in 2009 at the University of East Anglia, and also trained in cognitive behaviour therapy at the Oxford Cognitive Therapy Centre and in schema therapy at the Dutch Institute for Schema Therapy. She has a popular YouTube channel where she shares helpful videos on aspects of relationships and narcissism.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️Dating again after a painful break-up
⭐️Three things Ruth Ann Harpur knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Follow Dr Ruth Ann Harpur on social media:
https://www.youtube.com/@drruthannharpur/videos
https://www.instagram.com/drruthannharpur/
https://www.tiktok.com/@drruthannharpur
Visit Dr Ruth Ann Harpur’s website, where you’ll find resources for the general public and for therapists, on topics including relationships and narcissism.
Read the poetry of David Whyte, which is discussed in the bonus content of this episode.
You might enjoy other episodes on relationship themes; including therapists Michelle Farris on Seven Signs You Might be Co-Dependent and Terry Real on The Five Traps that Undermine Your Love.
Read Andrew’s book I Love You But I’m Not in Love With You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Mar 13, 2023
Monday Mar 13, 2023
How can we have more meaningful, connected sex? Many couples today are stuck in a low-sex or no-sex dynamic, while others struggle to break a routine that feels unbearably dull.
In this episode Jan Day, a relationship expert and psycho-spirital teacher, discusses “Living Tantra”.
Andrew and Jan cover how to “resensitise” in a world where there is not enough touch, and too many of us have become desensitised. Coming off autopilot and being open to depth and mystery can lead to a richer connection with the world and with our partners.
Jan Day has been teaching and leading workshops in Europe and Hawaii since 1999. Her life and work have been influenced by both Eastern and Western spiritual teachers. She was a sanyassin of Osho for 15 years. Over a period of 20 years Jan trained and then taught with Alan Lowen, founder of _The Art of Being®. The Living Tantra series of workshops that she offers is based on the Body, Heart & Soul®_ series created by Alan. She has also been influenced by and/or worked with Jack Kornfield, David Deida, Ron Kurtz, Ken Wilber, Genpo Roshi, Thomas Hübl and Ammachi.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️Andrew's favourite exercises from Jan's book to try yourself.
⭐️Three things Jan Day knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Jan Day’s book Living Tantra: A Journey into Sex, Spirit and Relationship
Visit Jan Day’s website to learn more about the courses and workshops she offers.
Read Andrew’s book Have the Sex You Want: A Couple’s Guide to Getting the Spark Back
You might also enjoy Andrew’s interviews with Dr Cheryl Fraser on How to Stay in Love or with Venus O’Hara on Spiritual Sex.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Mar 06, 2023
Monday Mar 06, 2023
Anger is one of the main reasons couples seek out the help of a marital therapist. It is an emotion we often fear, and which we are frequently taught to stifle and ignore in ourselves.
This week’s guests, Mar Estarellas and Orsolya Szeverics, believe that repressing anger means repressing our authentic emotions. This can lead to muscle tension, physical pain, emotional distress and even depression.
We discuss how we can safely release anger, and how our relationship with this most underappreciated of emotions can be healed, leading to many physical and emotional benefits.
Mar Estarellas and Orsolya Szeverics run a variety of workshops, including around unlocking the gifts of anger.
Orsolya Szeverics has been experimenting with personal growth practices for nearly a decade, and has forged her own path of supporting people with a key focus on mental and emotional health through creative liberation.
Mar Estarellas is a Computational Neuroscience PhD student. As a painter, neuroscientist and nature enthusiast, she is interested in researching the importance of art and Nature in living and dying healthily, for us and the Earth. She also has experience in Kundalini Yoga and the Wim Hof Method.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️Three winning and three losing strategies for facing your partner's anger.
⭐️Three things Orshi and Mar know to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliot.
Visit Mar Estarellas & Orsolya Szeverics’ website for more information about their workshops and their work on anger.
Learn more about Orsolya Szeverics:
https://www.instagram.com/creative_liberation/
https://dandelion.earth/u/orshi
Learn more about Mar Estarellas:
https://linktr.ee/mar_estarellas
https://www.instagram.com/mar.estarellas/
https://dandelion.earth/u/mar_estarellas
Read Andrew’s book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Feb 27, 2023
Monday Feb 27, 2023
Are you being held back by darker moments from your past? Would you like to find the courage to shine a light on some of the tragic or shameful moments that you don’t like to think about?
This week author and therapist Malcolm Stern joins Andrew to discuss his new book Slay Your Dragons With Compassion. Malcolm and Andrew talk about confronting your fears and working through blocks in a way that is compassionate to yourself and others.
Malcolm Stern is a psychotherapist with over thirty years of experience in the therapy room. His book is the result of his professional experience, but also of working through personal tragedy: his daughter Melissa took her own life in 2014, leading Malcolm to question every aspect of his work and life.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️How to break the spell you’re under.
⭐️Three highlights from Malcolm Stern’s book that Andrew knows to be true.
⭐️ Three things Malcolm Stern knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Malcolm Stern’s new book Slay Your Dragons With Compassion: Ten Ways to Thrive Even When It Feels Impossible.
Visit Malcolm Stern’s website
Read Andrew’s book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Feb 20, 2023
Monday Feb 20, 2023
Everyone has a different divorce experience, but getting divorced is pretty much guaranteed to change your life.
In this episode Samantha Baines, host of the Divorce Social podcast, shares her own experiences of divorce. Andrew and Samantha discuss:
⭐️The shock of divorce (even if you think you’re ready)
⭐️ Making the decision to get a divorce
⭐️ Dealing with what everybody else thinks.
⭐️ The “celebration” stage post-divorce.
⭐️The fun and the not-so-fun stereotypes around divorce (including wearing lots of leopard skin and having an adventurous love life).
Samantha Baines is an author, actor and broadcaster based in London. You may recognise her from appearances on ITV's Loose Women, Sky News and Andrew Neil's This Week or acting roles in Netflix’s The Crown, Call the Midwife, Silent Witness and Magic Mike Live (directed by Channing Tatum). She is a regular on BBC radio stations.
Samantha is a hearing aid wearer and iis the author of critically acclaimed children's books with deaf main characters. Her latest book (for adults) is Living with Hearing Loss and Deafness: A Guide to Owning It and Loving It.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️How to be more positive
⭐️Three things Samantha Baines knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there
Visit Samantha Baines’ website
Listen to The Divorce Social podcast
Order Samantha Baines’ new book Living with Hearing Loss and Deafness: A Guide to Owning It and Loving It.
Samantha interviews Andrew for the Divorce Social podcast here
Follow Samantha Baines on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Twitter and YouTube @samanthabaines
Follow the Divorce Social on Twitter @DivorcePod
Listen to our other episodes on divorce: Daughters of Divorce with Terry Gaspard, and Should I Stay or Should I Go? with Linda Hershman
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Feb 13, 2023
Monday Feb 13, 2023
If you’re restless and irritable, or plagued by headaches or stomach upsets, then anxiety might be an issue. More and more of us are looking for support, and even diagnoses, to help manage anxiety.
This week’s guest is Dr Anna Colton, a clinical psychologist, trained actress and TV presenter. Anna works with families, teenagers and couples, but also with performers and lawyers experiencing profound anxiety.
Andrew and Anna discuss:
⭐️How our “unlived lives” feed into anxiety.
⭐️How anxiety can be protective.
⭐️The importance of curiosity.
⭐️How adrenaline feels and how to manage it.
⭐️“Catastrophising” and overwhelm.
⭐️The existential angst that can underlie our anxiety.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️Body issues and childhood eating.
⭐️Three things Anna Colton knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Visit Dr Anna Colton’s website for lots of resources on anxiety.
Follow Dr Anna Colton on Instagram and Twitter @drannacolton, on Twitter and on YouTube @drannacolton727
For more on anxiety, listen to Andrew’s interviews with Dr Kathleen Smith on Make Anxiety Your Friend and Dr Wendy Suzuki on The Neuroscientist’s Guide to Anxiety.
Read Andrew’s book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Feb 06, 2023
Monday Feb 06, 2023
Today, the four pale horsemen of war, famine, pestilence and death, have broken into our comfortable lives once again.
As the climate emergency and shortage become normalised, how do we live through crisis after crisis without falling into fear and anxiety on the one hand, or agitated reaction and rage on the other?
Do we face the horsemen, go into denial or settle for the dull throb of numbness? And how do we maintain contact with the heart, with soul, with love and compassion?
This week Andrew speaks with award-winning poet, author and teacher William Ayot about:
- The burdens men carry
- The healing power of ritual
- Male loneliness and how men’s groups help
- Confronting shame and anger
As well as his writing and poetry, William Ayot leads workshops and seminars on personal development topics and creates and conducts private rituals and ceremonies.
Andrew will be attending William’s Feb/Mar 2023 workshop on Male Mysteries through Times of Change & Crisis , which is co-hosted with Simon Roe (a previous guest - see Are You Leading a Life of Quiet Desperation?).
William Ayot is also the co-founding director of Olivier Mythodrama and worked around the world for ten years, teaching leadership through story, theatre practice and ritual. He founded NaCOT- The National Centre for the Oral Tradition, and hosts the poetry series On the Border.
If You’re Looking for More….
You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
This week supporters will hear:
⭐️ Creating a daily ritual for a deeper connection to life.
⭐️Three things William Ayot knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there
Attend William Ayot and Simon Roe’s upcoming workshop in Feb/Mar 2023, Facing the Four Horsemen: Exploring Male Mysteries through Times of Change & Crisis
Visit William Ayot’s website for information on bespoke rituals, poetry etc.
Visit William Ayot and Juliet Grayson’s online library of poetry and talks on shame, men’s issues and relationships.
Listen to Andrew’s interview with Simon Roe on Are You Leading a Life of Quiet Desperation?
Read Andrew’s book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Jan 30, 2023
Monday Jan 30, 2023
Life brings to all of us long periods where we feel lost or confused. We don't know how to get what we want, or even what it is that we want.
The struggle to articulate the thing that might really make us “come alive” can be profound, even if we enter therapy.
Charlotte Fox Weber is the author of Tell Me What You Want, a new book that explores how to identify and navigate our deepest longings.
Andrew and Charlotte discuss the idea that we have 12 fundamental desires: to love and be loved; understanding, power, attention, freedom; to create, to belong, to win, to connect, to control; and to want what we shouldn't.
Identifying how these desires play out in your life can be liberating and beautiful, even if you also realise that acting on them is impossible.
Charlotte Fox Weber is a psychotherapist, author and the founding head of The School of Life Psychotherapy.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
⭐️ The troublemaking twins: pride and shame.
⭐️Three things Charlotte Fox Weber knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Read Charlotte Fox Weber’s new book, Tell Me What You Want
Visit Charlotte Fox Weber’s website
Read Andrew’s book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier.
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Jan 23, 2023
Monday Jan 23, 2023
Throw away your FitBit, stop counting your daily steps, and instead learn to run mindfully. If you can find the three key elements of space, silence and patience, you’ll be far more able to tackle big problems at work and at home.
William Pullen is a psychotherapist who helps clients using his revolutionary method of Dynamic Running Therapy. His work combines movement and talk therapy to harness the synergy of mind, body and spirit.
In this episode Andrew and William discuss
🏃🏾♂️How a good walk is different from a good run
🏃🏽♀️The practice of “asking your run/walk a question”
🏃🏻What the way someone walks can tell us about them.
William also tackles a particularly thorny reader’s letter about what to do if you find that your smartphone use is taking over your life and spoiling your relationships.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
⭐️Running to improve your anger management
⭐️ Three things William Pullen knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Buy William Pullen’s book Run for Your Life: Mindful Running for a Happy Life
Visit William Pullen’s website
Watch William Pullen’s TEDx talk “Movement is Medicine”
Follow William Pullen on Instagram @dynamicrunningtherapy and on Twitter @pullentherapy
Get William Pullen’s iPhone app for Dynamic Running Therapy
Listen to Andrew’s interview with Machiel Klerk on how to Ask Your Dreams for Help
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Jan 16, 2023
Monday Jan 16, 2023
How do you cope when life suddenly and dramatically falls to pieces?
In March 2017 psychologist and author Niamh Fitzpatrick’s beloved sister Dara was killed in a helicopter crash.
Soon afterwards, Niamh’s marriage disintegrated, and she feared she would also lose the house she lived in. Life as she knew it had ended and the cumulative loss was staggering in terms of impact.
As a psychologist for many years, Niamh had helped hundreds of clients through the worst times in their lives. Her own experiences of loss and grief were nonetheless shocking and devastating, and she had to draw on the full extent of her skillset to survive and rebuild.
Andrew and Niamh share a wide-ranging discussion of grief, including the importance of naming and honouring all your experiences of loss.
Niamh Fitzpatrick is the author of Tell Me the Truth About Loss and also works as a psychologist and sports psychologist in Dublin, Ireland.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
⭐️ A sports psychologist's guide to recovering from injury and dealing with loss
⭐️Three things Niamh Fitzpatrick knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Buy Niamh Fitzpatrick’s book Tell Me The Truth About Loss
Visit Niamh Fitzpatrick’s website
Follow Niamh Fitzpatrick on Twitter
Listen to some of our other episodes about grief and loss, including therapist David Kessler on Finding Meaning: the Sixth Stage of Grief and writer/politician Catherine Mayer on Embracing Life at a Time of Death.
Read Andrew’s memoir about the loss of his partner My Mourning Year h
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall