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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer. Each of us has to find out for ourselves what makes our life meaningful. But we can learn from each other, share our experiences of how to navigate the journey, how to endure and learn from the swamp, and finally how to find solid ground. I have decided to use my original training in radio and journalism to interview witnesses for what makes life meaningful. Each week, I invite someone who is a therapist, academic, self-help coach or who has an enlightening personal story to share their knowledge or experiences. I hope our discussions will help you discover what makes your life meaningful and find more purpose and contentment.
Episodes
Monday Nov 22, 2021
Monday Nov 22, 2021
“You’re only old once” says aging expert and author Kathleen O’Brien, and the wisest path is to embrace the freedom and wisdom of being an elder.
In this episode, Kathleen challenges us to:
- Tell everyone our age
- Ignore talk of “aging gracefully”
- Learn to love our aging appearance
- Celebrate our eccentricities
- Expect younger people to respect us
- See time and death as our allies
Kathleen O’Brien, 73, is the author of Reclaim Your Right To Grow Old. She has researched aging for over 13 years and teaches classes on her aging philosophy through the University of Denver’s continuing education program. She has also worked in advertising, television, video production and academia. Kathleen lives in Denver, Colorado, and writes regular blogs on her blueprint for aging at growoldbehappy.com.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions.
Read Kathleen O’Brien’s book Reclaim Your Right to Grow Old
Visit https://www.growoldbehappy.com - Kathleen O’Brien’s blog.
Follow Kathleen O’Brien on Twitter @Kat_O_Brien and on Facebook and Instagram @GrowOldBeHappy.
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Read Andrew’s blog “How To Avoid the Silver Divorce”
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Nov 15, 2021
Monday Nov 15, 2021
Are you a serial people-pleaser? Do you find all your self-worth at work? Or do you gravitate towards difficult partners, with problems you feel driven to fix for them?
These are some of the signs and symptoms of codependency. Codependency has a big impact on how we feel about ourselves, and may mean we keep repeating destructive relationship patterns.
In this episode, Andrew and psychotherapist Michelle Farris discuss the signs and symptoms of codependency, and Michelle identifies seven key signs you may be codependent. Michelle also shares her personal history of overcoming codependency.
Michelle Farris is a licensed psychotherapist who specialises in “helping codependent people create healthy relationships without sacrificing their big heart”. Michelle is the author of several e-books and online courses, and has been featured in Psych Central, Bustle, Your Tango, The Good Men Project, The Daily Positive, and Boss-Moms to name a few.
In her private practice, Counseling Recovery, Michelle believes that growth doesn’t have to take years and loves seeing her clients learn to trust themselves and create healthy relationships.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Visit Michelle Farris’ website
Get Michelle Farris’ free relationship checklist and video
Get Michelle Farris’ Self-trust Solution Journal
Follow Michelle Farris on Twitter @mshellMFT, on Facebook @CounselingRecovery, on Instagram @counseling_recovery and on YouTube as Michelle Farris, Relationship Therapist.
Find information about Alcoholics Anonymous and Codependents Anonymous
Listen to Andrew’s interview on Good Boundaries: The Foundation of Happy Relationships with Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton
Read Andrew’s blog “How to Heal from Trauma: Six Key Ways to Deal With Trauma”
Read Andrew’s book on making meaningful change in your life Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Nov 08, 2021
Monday Nov 08, 2021
Have you found the freedom to explore the rich landscape of your erotic self? Or did your childhood leave you feeling restricted and repressed by a sex negative mindset?
In this week’s episode Andrew talks to Silva Neves, a psychosexual psychotherapist, about:
- Why people DON’T fully explore their sexual selves
- Why labelling people “sex addicts” is unhelpful, and
- The liberating mindset of sex positivity.
Silva Neves works with couples experiencing a wide range of sex and relationship issues, including sexual trauma, infidelity, and compulsive sexual behaviours. He regularly appears in the British media and was featured on the BBC Three’s television series, Sex On The Couch.
Silva is a COSRT-accredited and UKCP-registered psychosexual and relationship psychotherapist, and a trauma psychotherapist. His private practice is based in Central London and online.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Visit Silva Neves’ website
Visit Silva Neves’ site on sex positivity
Get advice from Silva Neves via his Psychology Today blog
Read Silva Neves’ book Compulsive Sexual Behaviours, A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians
Learn about the course Silva Neves teaches at CICS - an Online Diploma in in Compulsive Sexual Behaviour
Follow Silva Neves on social media: Twitter @SilvaNeves3; and Instagram and Facebook @silvanevespsychotherapy
Read The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel
Read The Men On My Couch: True Stories of Sex, Love and Psychotherapy by David Rensin and Brandy Engler
Read Andrew’s book Have the Sex You Want: A Couple’s Guide to Getting Back the Spark
Read Andrew’s blog How To Have the Sex You Want
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Nov 01, 2021
Monday Nov 01, 2021
Matthew Fray is the author of the viral article “My Wife Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes By the Sink”. His divorce left him emotionally crushed: struggling not to cry all the time, and finding it hard even to breathe.
In this episode Andrew and Matthew talk about the lessons of Matthew’s failed marriage, and about how Matthew is using his own experiences in his coaching work with men experiencing relationship difficulties.
According to Matthew, “the things that destroy our relationships work like cancer…by the time we detect the problem, it’s already too late”. His work is based around helping men to see the problems earlier, and to build the emotional toolkit so many of them are missing.
Matthew Fray works as a relationship coach and as a writer. He blogs at Must Be This Tall To Ride and has a book coming out in April 2022, called This Is How Your Marriage Ends.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Pre-order Matthew Fray’s book This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships
Read Matthew’s blog Must Be This Tall To Ride
Read Matthew’s articles on The Good Men Project:
Follow Matthew on Twitter @MBTTTR and on Facebook @matthewfrayMBTTTR
Read Andrew’s blog “Three Secrets of a Happy Relationship”
Read Andrew’s book Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on:
Twitter https://twitter.com/andrewgmarshall
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AndrewGMarshallTherapy
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF5gT7ru5sblpFaU2-iWTTw
Monday Oct 25, 2021
Monday Oct 25, 2021
Your last encounter with a poem may well have taken place in a grim classroom, perhaps a painful dissection of WB Yeats or Matthew Arnold.
Poetry can be something entirely different, however, and prize-winning poet John McCullough gives us poetry that is a source of joy, mindfulness and sheer fun.
John McCullough “guides us through a world of déjà vu, doubt and rapture” (Helen Mort). His poetry gives us “fresh insight into vulnerability and suffering”, according to the judges of the Costa Poetry Award. His poems reference Kate Bush, Lady Gaga, birdlife, Grindr and My Little Pony, while exploring love, loneliness and issues like homelessness and homophobia.
In this episode Andrew and John talk about the ways poetry can make your life richer, deeper and more meaningful. Poetry helps us live in the moment, it offers a rest from relentless rational thinking and it helps us to process our experiences and make sense of them.
John McCullough's latest book of poems, Reckless Paper Birds, won the 2020 Hawthornden Prize for Literature and was shortlisted for the Costa Poetry Award. He has also won the Polari First Book Prize and his collections have been named Books of the Year in The Independent, The Guardian and The Observer. He is featured regularly in magazines such as Poetry London, Poetry Review and The New Statesman. Most recently, his poem 'Flower of Sulphur' was shortlisted for the 2021 Forward Prize for Best Single Poem. John lives in Hove with his partner and two cats, and teaches creative writing at the Open University and the University of Brighton.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Read Reckless Paper Birds, John McCullough’s Hawthornden Prize winning collection.
Find out about John McCullough’s other books.
Follow John McCullough on Twitter @JohnMcCullough_ and Instagram @mrjohnmccullough
Get Andrew’s advice on creating change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier.
Listen to Andrew’s interview with author Josh Cohen on “How to Live: What You Can Learn From Your Favourite Literary Character”.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Oct 18, 2021
Monday Oct 18, 2021
Many of us, particularly women, experience endless frustration because we don’t feel heard. At work and at home, it seems like we are constantly interrupted and rarely feel in control of a conversation.
This week Viv Groskop, journalist, podcaster, stand-up comedian and author of How to Own The Room and Lift As You Climb, talks with Andrew about how to speak so that people will listen. Diving into the world of stand-up taught Viv about pacing, pausing and gauging people’s reactions; but most importantly, about quieting your own ego and tuning into your audience.
Andrew and Viv discuss why exactly it is that many women struggle to be heard. At the practical level, it is crucial to enter the discussion assertively. We also need to make sure we are not self-sabotaging by pre-judging our own contribution as “not good enough”.
Viv Groskop hosts the chart-topping podcast How to Own The Room. She has written five books and this year will be a judge for the International Booker Prize. She is a regular guest presenter on BBC Radio 4 and has appeared on Woman’s Hour, Today and Front Row. Viv is also a fluent Russian speaker and is a trustee of Pushkin House, the independent centre for Russian culture in London.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall
Listen to How to Own the Room, Viv Groskop’s podcast: https://vivgroskop.com/podcast/
Read How to Own the Room: Women and the Art of Brilliant Speaking, Lift As You Climb: Women, Ambition and How to Change the Story, Au Revoir Tristesse: Lessons in Happiness from French Literature and Viv Groskop’s other books
Visit Viv Groskop’s website: https://vivgroskop.com
Follow Viv on Instagram and Twitter @VivGroskop
Read Andrew’s blog How to Be a Better Listener https://andrewgmarshall.com/help-better-listener/
Get Andrew’s book on communicating better with your partner Help Your Partner Say Yes: Seven Steps to Achieving Better Co-operation and Communication: https://andrewgmarshall.com/book/help-your-partner-say-yes-seven-steps-to-achieving-better-co-operation-and-communication/
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Oct 11, 2021
Monday Oct 11, 2021
We all know that good boundaries are pretty much essential if we want happy relationships. There is a lot of confusion, though, about what exactly a boundary is and how to make it work. Can we have too many boundaries? Should we ever compromise on the boundaries we set?
This week Andrew talks about boundaries with Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton, psychotherapists and co-founders of the London Centre of Applied Psychology. Matt and Graham share their own experiences of creating good boundaries in both love and parenting, and what it means if we are struggling to get this right.
Our ability to set boundaries is linked closely to our attachment style: those with an anxious attachment may allow their boundaries to crumble too easily; while those with an avoidant attachment can have so many rigid boundaries that they struggle to let anyone in.
Andrew also shares a prayer for good boundaries, which he often uses with marital therapy clients:
'I am me and
You are you.
It's a miracle that we've found each other
But I'm responsible for my stuff
And you're responsible for yours'
Graham Johnston is a psychotherapist and educator. He is Director of Policy at The Bowlby Centre, the UK’s leading training institution in attachment-based psychotherapy, and has also worked for the UK Government, specialising in home affairs. He and Matt Wotton are the Co-Founders and Directors of LCAP.
Matt Wotton is a psychotherapist and executive coach, and also Chair of The Bowlby Centre and Director at LCAP. Matt has over two decades of experience in forensic mental health in the criminal justice system - in operations, coaching leaders, and advising ministers. He led the review of Race in the Criminal Justice System (The Lammy Review), commissioned by the Prime Minister, and has been a member of the Prison & Probation Board.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Learn more about the London Centre for Applied Psychology (LCAP), where Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton work as Directors.
Learn more about The Bowlby Centre, the UK’s leading training institution in attachment-based psychotherapy.
Follow LCAP on Twitter and Facebook @LCAPsychology.
Read The Mindful Athlete by George Munford.
Read the poem “On Marriage” by Kahlil Gibran.
Read Andrew’s book on making meaningful change in your life, which also discusses attachment theory Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and be Stronger, Wiser and Happier.
Read Andrew’s blog Three Secrets of a Happy Relationship:
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Oct 04, 2021
Monday Oct 04, 2021
Is your home environment helping you to live the life you want, or does it get in the way? Clutter - the piles of stuff we don’t need and don’t use - can be a major block to our desire for clarity and meaning.
If we dig deep into the reasons we hold onto possessions, we can learn some uncomfortable lessons. Are we struggling to leave behind past relationships, past selves? Do we need more help to cope with grief and loss? Or are we endlessly waiting for a special occasion, so we can bring out the “good china”, rather than celebrating the beauty in the everyday?
Tracy McCubbin’s story is full of warmth and inspiration: growing up with divorced parents, one of whom was a hoarder, she “turned her psychic wound into her business”. She built a hugely successful company to help her clients create home environments that support them in their lives.
Tracy is also the Co-Executive Director of OneKid OneWorld, a non-profit helping schools stay open in Kenya and Central America.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Buy Tracy McCubbin’s book Making Space, Clutter Free: The Last Book on Decluttering You’ll Ever Need.
Visit Tracy McCubbin’s website: www.dclutterfly.com
Follow Tracy on Instagram, Facebook @dClutterfly and as Tracy McCubbin on Youtube
Take a look at the charity of which Tracy is Co-Executive Director, OneKid OneWorld.
If you struggle to talk to your partner about issues like clutter, read Andrew’s blog Three Secrets of a Happy Relationship
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Sep 27, 2021
Monday Sep 27, 2021
Have you ever experienced a strange, inexplicable coincidence that left you feeling “like a grand, mysterious character in a story?” One that seemed to suggest a particular relationship was “meant to be”, or, on the flipside, that it was time to let go?
This week Andrew talks to Jungian analyst Robert Hopcke about synchronicity: the strange coincidences that make us feel like the universe is sending us a message, or trying to turn our lives around.
These coincidences have the potential to help us find the meaning we’re seeking. Synchronistic events can offer a sense of underlying wholeness in our lives. They often happen in times of transition, and help us move to the place we need to be. They offer us the opportunity to recognise the symbolic quality of everyday life, and to be alive to the symbolism that everyday objects, events and people present.
Robert Hopcke is a Jungian analyst, author and a licensed marital therapist in private practice in Berkeley, California. He is the author of two books on Jung’s concept of synchronicity - There Are No Accidents and There Are No Accidents in Love and Relationships - and a number of other books about Jung.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Read Robert Hopcke’s book There Are No Accidents: Synchronicity and the Stories of Our Lives
Read Robert Hopcke’s book There Are No Accidents in Love and Relationships: Meaningful Coincidences and the Stories of Our Families
Take a look at Robert Hopcke’s website
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Read Andrew’s blog on journaling and find out how writing can help you bring more meaning into your life
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Sep 20, 2021
Monday Sep 20, 2021
For Andrew, it is the writings of Dr James Hollis, one of the world’s most eminent Jungian analysts, that have “sustained me through my dark times”. James Hollis' books also regularly help Andrew’s marital therapy clients to create change in their relationships and recover from infidelity.
For the 50th episode of The Meaningful Life With Andrew G. Marshall, Andrew speaks to James Hollis about what it means to be resilient - how do we discover and develop the strength nature gives us to “walk through the forest” when we inevitably hit dark times?
Bookshops and the internet are full of “five steps to happiness” style self-help manuals, telling us that if only we wake up earlier, change jobs, or eliminate caffeine, we will solve all our problems.
In fact, life is fractious and difficult, and requires us to persist. The best way to do this is not an external solution, but to find and trust the strength within ourselves.
James Hollis is a Washington D.C. based Jungian psychoanalyst and the author of seventeen books. He was Executive Director of the Jung Educational Center in Houston, Texas for many years and Executive Director of the Jung Society of Washington (JSW) until 2019. He also worked as a Senior Training Analyst for the Inter-Regional Society of Jungian Analysts and as a Director of Training of the Philadelphia Jung Institute.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Take a look at James Hollis’ website.
Read Andrew’s review of James Hollis’ book Swamplands of the Soul: New Life in Dismal Places.
Read Andrew’s review of James Hollis’ book Living an Examined Life: Wisdom for the Second Half of the Journey.
Read Andrew’s review of James Hollis’ book Living Between Worlds: Finding Personal Resilience in Changing Times.
Read Under Saturn’s Shadow: the Wounding and Healing of Men by James Hollis.
Listen to Lisa Marchiano of the This Jungian Life podcast speaking with Andrew about meaning and motherhood.
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall