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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer. Each of us has to find out for ourselves what makes our life meaningful. But we can learn from each other, share our experiences of how to navigate the journey, how to endure and learn from the swamp, and finally how to find solid ground. I have decided to use my original training in radio and journalism to interview witnesses for what makes life meaningful. Each week, I invite someone who is a therapist, academic, self-help coach or who has an enlightening personal story to share their knowledge or experiences. I hope our discussions will help you discover what makes your life meaningful and find more purpose and contentment.
Episodes
Monday Aug 29, 2022
Monday Aug 29, 2022
Some of us spend years having the same arguments with our partner, on repeat. Others drift into a state of lonely togetherness where we don’t bother to talk about discontents, because it just feels pointless.
Joanna Harrison is a marital therapist who has identified five arguments that all couples need to have. If you can work through these issues, your chances of building a healthy, happy relationship are much stronger.
In this week’s episode, Andrew and Joanna discuss basic skills for productive conflict, why we try to avoid arguments, and how therapy can help.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
⭐️Joanna’s examples of practical strategies that have worked best for the couples she sees.
⭐️Andrew and Joanna’s best piece of advice for couples struggling to disagree productively.
⭐️3 things Joanna KNOWS to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers can also explore a rich trove of bonus material on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and all his previous guests.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there
Get Joanna Harrison’s book Five Arguments All Couples (Need to) Have and Why the Washing-Up Matters
Take a look at Joanna Harrison’s website https://joannaharrison.co.uk
Follow Joanna Harrison on Twitter @JoCoupleTherapy and on Instagram @joannaharrisoncoupletherapist
Listen to other The Meaningful Life episodes on marriage and relationships: Dr Terry Real on Five Traps that Undermine Your Love and Matthew Fray on How Good People Mess Up Their Marriages
Read Andrew’s book I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Monday Aug 22, 2022
Monday Aug 22, 2022
Society encourages us to focus hard on “doing, achieving and having”. According to Professor Paul Gilbert, though, we would likely be much happier if we instead worked on being more compassionate to ourselves and others.
In this episode Andrew and Paul discuss:
⭐️Why being compassionate ISN’T being weak
⭐️Three key pillars of compassion: assertiveness, forgiveness & apology
⭐️Why compassion increases feelings of contentment and wellbeing.
⭐️Exercises you can do to become more compassionate
⭐️The vagus nerve and its role in regulating anxiety and moods.
Professor Paul Gilbert Paul Gilbert FBPsS, PhD, OBE is the Founder and President of The Compassionate Mind Foundation. He is also Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby and honorary visiting Prof at the University of Queensland. Paul was made a Fellow of the British Psychological Society in 1993, president of the BABCP for 2002-2004, and was a member of the first British Government’s NICE guidelines for depression. He has written/edited 23 books and over 300 papers and book chapters. He was awarded an OBE by the Queen in March 2011 for services to mental health.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there.
Read Paul Gilbert’s book The Compassionate Mind
See Paul Gilbert’s other books
Paul Gilbert is the Founder and President of The Compassionate Mind Foundation
Follow the Compassionate Mind Foundation on Facebook @CompMindFound, on Twitter @CompMindFound, on Instagram @compassionatemind_foundation and on LinkedIn.
Learn more about the vagus nerve - “Everything you need to know about the vagus nerve” in Medical News Today and “This Nerve Influences Nearly Every Internal Organ. Can It Improve Our Mental State, Too?” in The New York Times.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Monday Aug 15, 2022
Monday Aug 15, 2022
What if divorce were not the end? This week’s podcast guests, Tommy and Gina Mulligan, share their journey from acrimonious divorce back to happy coupledom.
Tommy and Gina started out as high school sweethearts and grew up together to create a happy life and family. As Tommy’s career accelerated, however, they encountered problems with work/life balance, gendered relationship stereotypes and a problematic dynamic that sometimes felt more like a parent and child than a married couple.
Later, however, they were able to rediscover their spark and develop their own unique approach to starting over. This involved working on communication skills, but also agreeing to parcel away the bad times and start again from the point where there had been harmony.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there
Follow Tommy and Gina on Twitter @2ndtimearound22
Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook – Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship
Listen to some of our other episodes on marriage and relationships - including Irene Fehr on Why Desire Disappears in Committed Relationships and Terry Real on The Five Traps that Undermine Your Love .
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Monday Aug 08, 2022
Monday Aug 08, 2022
Do you fall too easily into the role of rescuer in your relationships? Being the eternal rescuer is exhausting, and it tends to cast those around you in the roles of victim and persecutor.
Or, often, you and your partner will switch between the roles, caught in an eternal and unproductive “drama triangle”. None of the three roles are likely to allow true self-expression, and getting stuck in this cycle is draining and dispiriting.
This week Andrew talks with psychotherapist, spiritual teacher and author Chris Partridge about escaping the rescuer role, and developing the spiritual muscle to be able to really understand what your emotions are telling you.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there
Buy Chris Partridge’s book Wake Up: What Are Your Emotions Really Telling You?
Visit Chris Partridge’s website
Follow Chris Partridge on Facebook @WakeUpGuideBook and on Instagram @wakeupguide
Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook – Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship
Listen to some of our other episodes on marriage and relationships - including Irene Fehr on Why Desire Disappears in Committed Relationships and Terry Real on The Five Traps that Undermine Your Love .
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Monday Aug 01, 2022
Monday Aug 01, 2022
To forgive is one of the biggest choices we can make. It can allow us to let go of painful suffering, to move on and to find peace for ourselves.
Yet forgiveness tends to be something of a minefield. Many feel that it means letting people who have hurt them back into their lives (which definitely need not be the case). Nor is forgiveness the same thing as saying that historic mistreatment was OK. And if forgiveness is compelled by religion or a strict sense of morality, it may not bring the same easing of hurt and suffering.
In this episode Andrew and forgiveness expert Dr Frederic Luskin discuss how to go about the task of forgiving someone, and the impact this can have on the rest of your life. Whether it is infidelity, financial dishonesty or parental failings, forgiving someone who has wronged you can ultimately mean that you can be “a hero instead of a victim in the story you tell”.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there
Buy Dr Frederic Luskin’s book Forgive for Good
Explore Dr Frederic Luskin’s work on forgiveness at the Forgive for Good website
Take a look at the Stanford University Forgiveness Project
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Listen to our episodes on infidelity - How to Rebuild Trust with Dr Caroline Madden and Lessons from My Recovery with infidelity survivors Lisa Arends and Helen Tower.
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Monday Jul 25, 2022
Monday Jul 25, 2022
After nearly dying from an ectopic pregnancy, writer Georgina Scull confronted some of life’s big questions:
- Why do we drift through life, planning for tomorrow but not living for today?
- Why do we stay in relationships that no longer make us content, or in jobs that fill us with dread?
- Why do we allow our doubts to stop us trying new things, or let people treat us badly?
Georgina chose to answer these questions in a unique way: she created a podcast and then a book in which she interviewed people who were dying. She asked each interviewee about their regrets, which ranged from long-lost love never pursued, to leaving behind children too young to remember their mother.
In this episode, Andrew and Georgina discuss what we can learn from the dying, and the many reasons for living in the moment rather than chasing the perfect body, the next promotion or a bigger house.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there.
Read Georgina Scull’s new book Regrets of the Dying: Stories and Wisdom That Remind Us How to Live
Listen to Georgina Scull’s podcast Regrets of the Dying
Follow Georgina Scull on Twitter @georginascull
Listen to other episodes including Dr Kathryn Mannix on What You’ve Been Told About Death Might be Wrong, and David Kessler on Finding Meaning: the Sixth Stage of Grief.
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Monday Jul 18, 2022
Monday Jul 18, 2022
Why do women stop wanting sex? Why is it so hard to recapture the intoxicating desire of those wonderful early weeks and months of your relationship?
Irene Fehr has spent a decade working with couples as a sex and intimacy coach. Her specialty is women’s libido and sexual desire in long-term relationships.
In this episode Andrew and Irene discuss the nature of desire. Unless we understand what compels and creates desire at different life stages, we will not be able to create a passionate, connected sexual life that meets both partner’s needs.
As well as understanding desire, there are also practical steps you can take to rekindle your connection. Fencing off time away from your children (including the controversial act of locking the bedroom door) is key; as is taking small amounts of time each day (rather than weekly date nights) to spend in complete, uninterrupted togetherness.
And if you are one of our wonderful Apple, Spotify or Patreon paying subscribers, this week’s bonus material sees Andrew and Irene discussing Seven Common Traps for Couples Making Love.
Irene Fehr is a sex and intimacy coach. Her articles and advice on sex, female libido and sexual pleasure are regularly featured in publications including Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan and Thought Catalog.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there
Take Irene Fehr’s free video course on How to Want to Have Sex Again
Learn more about Feed Your Libido, Irene Fehr’s signature online program for women.
Visit Irene Fehr’s website
Follow Irene Fehr on Twitter and YouTube @ignitedwoman and on LinkedIn.
Read the books discussed in this episode: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sherrie Winston, and The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld.
Find out more about Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent
Listen to other The Meaningful Life episodes on sex and relationships: Tracey Cox on Great Sex After Fifty and Dr Terry Real on Five Traps that Undermine Your Love
Read Andrew’s book Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Monday Jul 11, 2022
Monday Jul 11, 2022
Creating a more meaningful life does not have to happen indoors. Whether it’s writing, meditating, repairing relationships or planning a big life change, doing the work outside surrounded by nature can be calming and inspiring.
Psychotherapist Dr Patricia Hasbach is a specialist in ecotherapy. She sees clients outside and also incorporates nature into her therapeutic work indoors. She is a lifelong lover of nature and a profound believer in its power in treating anxiety and depression, and fostering health and wellness.
Patricia has recently published Grounded: A Guided Journal to Help You Reconnect with the Power of Nature—and Yourself , an interactive journal designed to engage all of the reader’s five senses, and to deepen our experience of nature.
In this episode Andrew and Patricia discuss nature, awe, the power of green, and how to bring nature inside as part of the therapeutic journey.
Dr. Patricia H. Hasbach is a licensed psychotherapist, consultant, author, and college educator. As one of the media’s go-to ecotherapists, she and her work have appeared in numerous outlets including Time, Vogue, Outside Magazine, the Utne Reader, The New York Times Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The Christian Science Monitor, and Sierra Magazine. She lives with her husband and two dogs in Oregon, USA.
Follow Up
The Meaningful Life has been nominated for a British Podcast Award in the category of Sex and Relationships Podcast. Please do vote for us in the Listeners’ Choice category here.
Read Dr Patricia Hasbach’s new book Grounded: A Guided Journal to Help You Reconnect with the Power of Nature—and Yourself
Visit Dr Patricia Hasbach’s website
Follow Dr Patricia Hasbach on Facebook or on LinkedIn
You might also enjoy Andrew’s interview with “joyful environmentalist” Isabel Losada on How to Bring Joy Into Your Life AND Save the Planet
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Jul 04, 2022
Monday Jul 04, 2022
Women often spend many hours considering their relationship with their mothers; but far less attention goes to the impact of fathers.
For some, the reason for this is that their mothers were there, making wrong and right decisions (which they remember in the starkest possible light) whilst their fathers were absent.
Jungian psychotherapist Dr Susan Schwartz has spent many hours guiding her women clients in thinking about how they were shaped by physically or emotionally absent fathers.
These daughters relate feeling an insecurity of self, a splintering and disintegration of their personality and a silencing of their voice.
In this episode Andrew and Susan explore the different ways we are shaped by our fathers, how this comes up in therapy and the ways in which we can start to fill the holes left by absent fathers.
Susan and Andrew also analyse a recent dream of Andrew’s in which themes of family legacies and therapeutic work are drawn out.
Dr Susan Schwartz is a Jungian analyst who trained in Switzerland and lives in the USA. She teaches in numerous Jungian programs, workshops, and lectures in the USA and worldwide. She is also a clinical psychologist and member of the International Association of Analytical Psychology.
Follow Up
The Meaningful Life has been nominated for a British Podcast Award in the category of Sex and Relationships Podcast. Please do vote for us in the Listeners’ Choice category here.
Read Dr Susan Schwartz’s new book The Absent Father Effect on Daughters, Father Desire, Father Wounds.
Visit Dr Susan Schwartz’s website https://susanschwartzphd.com
Follow Dr Susan Schwartz on Facebook and Instagram
Read Andrew’s book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
You might also be interested in Andrew’s other interviews with Jungian psychotherapists James Hollis (How to be Resilient), Connie Zweig (“From Role to Soul”) and Lisa Marchiano (Being a Mother).
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Monday Jun 27, 2022
Monday Jun 27, 2022
Do you think about drinking alcohol more than you think about eating sandwiches? Do you spend significant amounts of time thinking about NOT drinking (Dry January, for example)? Or are you one of the many with an uneasy feeling that alcohol is no longer bringing anything good into your life, and may well be holding you back?
Therapist and sobriety expert Veronica Valli had a problematic relationship with alcohol for twelve years. She has now been sober for twenty years, and has helped countless others give up drinking.
In this episode Andrew and Veronica discuss:
⭐️ How giving up alcohol can give you the energy and freedom to be your true self.
⭐️ Why your friends may not always be your cheerleaders if you give up drinking.
⭐️ Why a drinking problem is really a symptom of another, underlying problem.
⭐️ What to do if your partner has an alcohol problem.
⭐️ Extreme social pressure to drink and how to deal with it.
Veronica Valli has worked in the field of alcohol recovery for almost two decades. She is an author, podcaster and former clinical psychotherapist.
Follow Up
The Meaningful Life has been nominated for a British Podcast Award in the category of Sex and Relationships Podcast. You can vote for us in the Listeners’ Choice category here.
Read Veronica Valli’s new book Soberful: Uncover a Sustainable, Fulfilling Life Free of Alcohol
Take a look at Veronica Valli’s website
Listen to Soberful: the Podcast
Find out about the Soberful private group on Facebook
Follow Veronica Valli on Instagram @veronicajvalli, on Facebook @soberfulpage, on Twitter @VeronicaValli and on LinkedIn.
Read Andrew’s book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
You might also be interested in Andrew’s interview with Oliver Russell on how being one of the first people in the UK to be diagnosed with Covid-19 led him to change his relationship with alcohol.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall