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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer. Each of us has to find out for ourselves what makes our life meaningful. But we can learn from each other, share our experiences of how to navigate the journey, how to endure and learn from the swamp, and finally how to find solid ground. I have decided to use my original training in radio and journalism to interview witnesses for what makes life meaningful. Each week, I invite someone who is a therapist, academic, self-help coach or who has an enlightening personal story to share their knowledge or experiences. I hope our discussions will help you discover what makes your life meaningful and find more purpose and contentment.
Episodes
Monday Jan 10, 2022
Monday Jan 10, 2022
Most of us have a conversation we’re avoiding: a child coming out to their parent, a family losing someone to terminal illness, a friend noticing early signs of dementia. There are moments when we simply must talk, listen and be there for one another.
Dr Kathryn Mannix, a consultant in palliative care medicine, has spent her career having what she describes as “tender conversations” with bereaved families. Her new book, Listen: How to Find the Words for Tender Conversations, is a guide to not shying away from difficult subjects with those we care about.
In this episode Andrew and Kathryn discuss why it is we so often don’t say what needs to be said. They look at how to be brave in the face of discomfort, how to sit with silence, and how to speak from a place of gentleness and care.
Dr Kathryn Mannix has spent her medical career working with people who have incurable, advanced illnesses. She is the author of the bestselling With the End in Mind: How to Live and Die Well, as well as her new book, Listen. Kathryn is a qualified cognitive behavioural therapist and started the UK’s first CBT clinic for palliative care patients.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Read Dr Kathryn Mannix’s books: Listen: How to Find the Words for Tender Conversations and With the End in Mind: How to Live and Die Well
Listen to Dr Kathryn Mannix’s previous appearance on this podcast, What You’ve Been Told About Death Might Be Wrong
Follow Dr Kathryn Mannix on Twitter and Facebook @drkathrynmannix
Read Andrew’s blog Help Me Be a Better Listener
Read Andrew’s book on starting a deeper conversation with your partner, Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube
Monday Jan 03, 2022
Monday Jan 03, 2022
A year’s worth of ideas about living a meaningful life is a lot to digest. Over 2021, we touched on trauma, reimagining death, recovering from infidelity, creating a business, parenting, gratitude, and so much more.
In this retrospective episode, Andrew and podcast engineer Michael Dooney each choose their top five. These are the episodes that stayed with them, influencing and changing the way they think about life and relationships.
In the bonus material for supporters, Andrew and Michael discuss the best ways to put what you loved about each episode into practice in order to change your own life for the better.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Listen to Andrew and Michael’s 2021 highlights:
- Caroline Madden on Infidelity: How to Rebuild Trust
- Elaine Dundon on Stop Being a Prisoner of Your Thoughts
- Philip Carr-Gomm on Stop Living the Provisional Life and Start Creating an Authentic One
- Hannah Martin on How to Believe in Yourself and Start Your Own Business
- Lisa Marchiano on Being a Mother: a Journey of Self-Discovery
- Philippa Perry on What You Wish Your Parents Knew & What Your Children Hope You Learn
- Kathryn Mannix on What You’ve Been Told About Death Might be Wrong
- Eleanor Mills on How to Reinvent Yourself at 50 (or Any Age)
- James Hollis on How to be Resilient
- Chester Elton on How Gratitude Could Revolutionise Your Life
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Dec 27, 2021
Monday Dec 27, 2021
How often have you heard masculinity described as “toxic”, “fragile”, or “in a crisis”? JJ Bola - writer, former youth worker, and UNHCR Ambassador - tries to go deeper in understanding how society is failing boys and men.
In this episode, JJ Bola describes masculinity as a performance that we require boys to learn; along the way stifling their individuality and emotional health. Different societies have different myths about masculinity, and JJ Bola is able to draw on his experiences as a Congolese man growing up in London to show how diverse these ideas are.
If we could discard the performance of masculinity and allow boys to grow up free and to be who they are, we are likely to see the benefits in love and sex, politics, competitive sports and mental health.
JJ Bola was born in Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. He grew up in London and has written two novels - No Place to Call Home and The Selfless Act Of Breathing - as well as three collections of poetry - Elevate, Daughter of the Sun and WORD - and a non-fiction book about masculinity and the patriarchy, Mask Off: Masculinity Redefined.
This week’s episode takes a slightly different format: Andrew interviews JJ Bola at the annual MANN SEIN conference in Berlin, an international gathering to talk about masculinity in today’s world.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Find out more about the MANN SEIN annual conference in Berlin/online.
Read JJ Bola’s books: Mask Off: Masculinity Redefined, No Place to Call Home, The Selfless Act Of Breathing and Refuge (which collates his 3 volumes of poetry).
Follow JJ Bola on Twitter and Instagram @JJ_Bola
Listen to Andrew’s other conversations on masculinity:
⭐️Jed Diamond PhD on “Your Personal Creation Story”
⭐️Joe Horton on “Men, Fathers and Meaning”
⭐️Matthew Fray on “How Good People Mess Up Their Marriages”
⭐️Warren Farrell PhD on “The Boy Crisis”
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Dec 20, 2021
Monday Dec 20, 2021
Becoming a parent is impossible to prepare for. Jack Underwood describes “feeling that there should have been more paperwork. We signed a form or two and then they just sort of let us take you away. A human child”.
Parenthood changes our relationships, our view of the world, our sense of self. It’s rare in the whirlwind of night wakings and nappies, though, that anyone has the time to sit down and think about what exactly it is that’s happened to them.
In this episode, Andrew talks to Jack Underwood, a poet, writer and critic, about how and why he writes about fatherhood, his interest in the concept of uncertainty, and the complexities of modern masculinity.
Jack Underwood lives and works in London. As well as being a poet and author, he works as a senior lecturer in creative writing at Goldsmiths University of London. His most recent collection of poetry is A Year in the New Life, which in October 2021 was shortlisted for the TS Eliot Prize.
Jack Underwood is also the author of Not Even This, a meditation on the theme of uncertainty inspired by his anxieties about becoming a parent. His 2015 debut collection of poetry, Happiness, won the Somerset Maugham Award.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Read A Year in the New Life or Not Even This: Poetry, parenthood & living uncertainly or Happiness by Jack Underwood
Follow Jack Underwood on Twitter and Instagram @jundermilkwood
Get Andrew’s advice on creating change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
If you’re a lover of poetry, you could also listen to Andrew’s interview with Brighton poet John McCullough on Seven Ways Poetry Could Make Your Life Richer, Deeper and More Meaningful
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Dec 13, 2021
Monday Dec 13, 2021
Stepping into a bath of ice isn’t the obvious pastime for a Northern winter. But if you do it the right way, the extreme cold can be:
❄️ Empowering - diving in means turning off the voices of procrastination.
❄️ Relaxing - staying in the bath requires you to work on physical relaxation.
❄️ Mindful - the cold focuses you hard on the now.
❄️ And, extremely healthy - there is evidence for cardiovascular benefit.
Dr Josephine Worseck is a molecular biologist, yoga teacher, naturopath and exponent of cold exposure. The Wim Hof method she teaches is based on the three pillars of breathing, cold and mindset.
In this episode Josephine speaks with Andrew about what led her from a successful career as a scientist into a new life helping people find their true potential and lead the lives they want.
Andrew and Josephine also talk about the art of breathing, and take listeners through a powerful relaxation exercise.
Josephine Worseck is based in Potsdam, Germany. She spends her days teaching clients the benefits of cold exposure, and also guides groups up mountains, leads freezing outdoor swims and teaches yoga and breathing methods.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Visit Josephine Worseck’s website.
Buy Josephine Worseck’s book Die Heilkraft der Kälte (currently only available in German).
Follow Josephine Worseck on Instagram @josephineworseck and on Facebook as @DrJosephineWorseck
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Read Andrew’s blog on how to start keeping a journal, in which you can reflect on failure and growth: https://andrewgmarshall.com/top-twelve-benefits-of-journaling/
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Dec 06, 2021
Monday Dec 06, 2021
How would your life change if you suddenly had all the money in the world? This was the experience of John Lefebvre, who was catapulted from an ordinary existence as a lawyer and musician into a life of untold wealth during the dotcom boom of the 2000s.
John’s life of luxury came to an abrupt halt in 2007, however, after the FBI stormed his home and arrested him for money laundering, racketeering and conspiracy. John pled guilty, paid a fine of $40 million, and served 45 days in a Manhattan jail.
Over the last two decades John has given away well over $50 million. He says that money is like dope – it takes more and more to achieve the same rush, until you just can’t get high on it anymore. He became convinced that eventually the only rush that remained was sharing wealth with others and experiencing their joy at being set free from cares and concerns.
John has since found meaning in music, writing (he is the author of two books), spiritual exploration and climate activism. He has worked closely with David Suzuki and supports Vancouver’s Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education.
John maintains that the earthly existence that has miraculously befallen each of us is actually the complete answer to anybody’s wildest dreams, and that we must start taking basic care of everyone on Earth.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Visit John Lefebvre’s website
Buy John Lefebvre’s books Good With Money and All’s Well: Where Thou Art Earth and Why
Visit the blog John Lefebvre cofounded, DeSmog.com, which is dedicated to exposing climate misinformation.
Follow John Lefebvre on Facebook @thoughtfulspecies and on Twitter @thoughtfulspec
Read Andrew’s advice on keeping a journal of your life and emotions at https://andrewgmarshall.com/top-twelve-benefits-of-journaling/
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier: https://andrewgmarshall.com/book/wake-up-and-change-your-life-how-to-survive-a-crisis-and-be-stronger-wiser-and-happier/
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Nov 29, 2021
Monday Nov 29, 2021
Some of us are afraid of it, some of us gave it up decades ago, and some of us are trying desperately to master it. The art of flirting is a form of relationship magic, and it can bring so much happiness into our partnerships and our lives. Flirting opens us up to silliness, fun and joy.
In this episode Andrew talks with flirting coach and psychosexual therapist Cate Mackenzie about why we should master the skills of flirting.
Andrew and Cate talk about the ways in which your childhood might have left you finding the physical cues involved in flirting difficult, and how to overcome this.
Andrew and Cate discuss:
⭐️Flirting for those coming out of long-term relationships and starting to date again
⭐️Flirting for those burnt by the dating scene
⭐️Flirting for couples who’ve given up on it
⭐️The sometimes thorny issue of flirting and boundaries.
Cate Mackenzie is a psychosexual therapist and couples counsellor. Cate runs courses in flirting and dating for pairs and individuals. She is regularly heard on BBC Radio ‘Woman’s Hour’ and ‘Five Live’, and is also famous as the Dating Coach on ‘The Undateables’ (Channel 4), the Flirting Coach on ‘The Jeremy Vine Show’ (Channel 5) and the Psychosexual Therapist on ‘Kinky Britain’ (Channel 4). Cate has her own podcast, Love, Pleasure and Joy with Cate Mackenzie, for which she has interviewed the likes of Ruby Wax and Russell Kane.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Buy tickets for Cate Mackenzie’s online course, Flirt Coaching at Love School, starting in Feb 2022.
Listen to Cate Mackenzie’s podcast, Love, Pleasure and Joy with Cate Mackenzie
Visit Cate Mackenzie’s website
Follow Cate Mackenzie on LinkedIn and Twitter @CateMackenzie and Instagram @Catemmackenzie
Find out more about Betty Martin
Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook: Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship
Read Andrew’s blog on Three Secrets of a Happy Relationship:
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Nov 22, 2021
Monday Nov 22, 2021
“You’re only old once” says aging expert and author Kathleen O’Brien, and the wisest path is to embrace the freedom and wisdom of being an elder.
In this episode, Kathleen challenges us to:
- Tell everyone our age
- Ignore talk of “aging gracefully”
- Learn to love our aging appearance
- Celebrate our eccentricities
- Expect younger people to respect us
- See time and death as our allies
Kathleen O’Brien, 73, is the author of Reclaim Your Right To Grow Old. She has researched aging for over 13 years and teaches classes on her aging philosophy through the University of Denver’s continuing education program. She has also worked in advertising, television, video production and academia. Kathleen lives in Denver, Colorado, and writes regular blogs on her blueprint for aging at growoldbehappy.com.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions.
Read Kathleen O’Brien’s book Reclaim Your Right to Grow Old
Visit https://www.growoldbehappy.com - Kathleen O’Brien’s blog.
Follow Kathleen O’Brien on Twitter @Kat_O_Brien and on Facebook and Instagram @GrowOldBeHappy.
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Read Andrew’s blog “How To Avoid the Silver Divorce”
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Nov 15, 2021
Monday Nov 15, 2021
Are you a serial people-pleaser? Do you find all your self-worth at work? Or do you gravitate towards difficult partners, with problems you feel driven to fix for them?
These are some of the signs and symptoms of codependency. Codependency has a big impact on how we feel about ourselves, and may mean we keep repeating destructive relationship patterns.
In this episode, Andrew and psychotherapist Michelle Farris discuss the signs and symptoms of codependency, and Michelle identifies seven key signs you may be codependent. Michelle also shares her personal history of overcoming codependency.
Michelle Farris is a licensed psychotherapist who specialises in “helping codependent people create healthy relationships without sacrificing their big heart”. Michelle is the author of several e-books and online courses, and has been featured in Psych Central, Bustle, Your Tango, The Good Men Project, The Daily Positive, and Boss-Moms to name a few.
In her private practice, Counseling Recovery, Michelle believes that growth doesn’t have to take years and loves seeing her clients learn to trust themselves and create healthy relationships.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Visit Michelle Farris’ website
Get Michelle Farris’ free relationship checklist and video
Get Michelle Farris’ Self-trust Solution Journal
Follow Michelle Farris on Twitter @mshellMFT, on Facebook @CounselingRecovery, on Instagram @counseling_recovery and on YouTube as Michelle Farris, Relationship Therapist.
Find information about Alcoholics Anonymous and Codependents Anonymous
Listen to Andrew’s interview on Good Boundaries: The Foundation of Happy Relationships with Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton
Read Andrew’s blog “How to Heal from Trauma: Six Key Ways to Deal With Trauma”
Read Andrew’s book on making meaningful change in your life Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Nov 08, 2021
Monday Nov 08, 2021
Have you found the freedom to explore the rich landscape of your erotic self? Or did your childhood leave you feeling restricted and repressed by a sex negative mindset?
In this week’s episode Andrew talks to Silva Neves, a psychosexual psychotherapist, about:
- Why people DON’T fully explore their sexual selves
- Why labelling people “sex addicts” is unhelpful, and
- The liberating mindset of sex positivity.
Silva Neves works with couples experiencing a wide range of sex and relationship issues, including sexual trauma, infidelity, and compulsive sexual behaviours. He regularly appears in the British media and was featured on the BBC Three’s television series, Sex On The Couch.
Silva is a COSRT-accredited and UKCP-registered psychosexual and relationship psychotherapist, and a trauma psychotherapist. His private practice is based in Central London and online.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Visit Silva Neves’ website
Visit Silva Neves’ site on sex positivity
Get advice from Silva Neves via his Psychology Today blog
Read Silva Neves’ book Compulsive Sexual Behaviours, A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians
Learn about the course Silva Neves teaches at CICS - an Online Diploma in in Compulsive Sexual Behaviour
Follow Silva Neves on social media: Twitter @SilvaNeves3; and Instagram and Facebook @silvanevespsychotherapy
Read The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel
Read The Men On My Couch: True Stories of Sex, Love and Psychotherapy by David Rensin and Brandy Engler
Read Andrew’s book Have the Sex You Want: A Couple’s Guide to Getting Back the Spark
Read Andrew’s blog How To Have the Sex You Want
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall