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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer. Each of us has to find out for ourselves what makes our life meaningful. But we can learn from each other, share our experiences of how to navigate the journey, how to endure and learn from the swamp, and finally how to find solid ground. I have decided to use my original training in radio and journalism to interview witnesses for what makes life meaningful. Each week, I invite someone who is a therapist, academic, self-help coach or who has an enlightening personal story to share their knowledge or experiences. I hope our discussions will help you discover what makes your life meaningful and find more purpose and contentment.
Episodes
Monday May 09, 2022
Dr. Stephan Poulter: Shame: How to Break Out and Start Living
Monday May 09, 2022
Monday May 09, 2022
Shame is one of the emotions we find hardest to talk about. It can feel paralysing, and is linked to despair, imposter syndrome, fear and the sense of an impending doom.
This week’s guest, psychologist and author Dr Stephan Poulter, is the author of Shame Factor: Heal Your Deepest Fears and Set Yourself Free. Andrew and Dr Poulter discuss how shame makes us feel - paralysed, unclean, not good enough, defective - and how we can reduce its impact on our lives.
As Dr Poulter states, “the best analogy is this gold brick inside you. Shame covers it with mud. Our work is to hose off the mud, and find the gold brick”.
Dr. Stephan B. Poulter, Ph.D is a psychologist, author and public speaker working in Los Angeles. He is also a theological seminary graduate and a former police officer. Dr Poulter has worked with hundreds of individuals, couples and families, and regularly speaks on parenting, adolescent and spiritual/psychological issues.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there
Buy Dr Stephan Poulter’s books, including Shame Factor: Heal Your Deepest Fears and Set Yourself Free, The Art of Successful Failure and The Father Factor.
Follow Dr Stephan Poulter on Twitter @StephanPoulter and on Facebook @DrStephanPoulter-PsychotherapistandAuthor
Read Andrew’s blog on how keeping a journal can help you manage difficult emotions: Top Twelve Benefits of Journaling
Fear is a close companion to shame. You may also enjoy Andrew’s interview with Thom Rutledge on Embracing Fear in Four Steps
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
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