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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer. Each of us has to find out for ourselves what makes our life meaningful. But we can learn from each other, share our experiences of how to navigate the journey, how to endure and learn from the swamp, and finally how to find solid ground. I have decided to use my original training in radio and journalism to interview witnesses for what makes life meaningful. Each week, I invite someone who is a therapist, academic, self-help coach or who has an enlightening personal story to share their knowledge or experiences. I hope our discussions will help you discover what makes your life meaningful and find more purpose and contentment.
Episodes
Monday Aug 01, 2022
Monday Aug 01, 2022
To forgive is one of the biggest choices we can make. It can allow us to let go of painful suffering, to move on and to find peace for ourselves.
Yet forgiveness tends to be something of a minefield. Many feel that it means letting people who have hurt them back into their lives (which definitely need not be the case). Nor is forgiveness the same thing as saying that historic mistreatment was OK. And if forgiveness is compelled by religion or a strict sense of morality, it may not bring the same easing of hurt and suffering.
In this episode Andrew and forgiveness expert Dr Frederic Luskin discuss how to go about the task of forgiving someone, and the impact this can have on the rest of your life. Whether it is infidelity, financial dishonesty or parental failings, forgiving someone who has wronged you can ultimately mean that you can be “a hero instead of a victim in the story you tell”.
Follow Up
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter and join the community there
Buy Dr Frederic Luskin’s book Forgive for Good
Explore Dr Frederic Luskin’s work on forgiveness at the Forgive for Good website
Take a look at the Stanford University Forgiveness Project
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Listen to our episodes on infidelity - How to Rebuild Trust with Dr Caroline Madden and Lessons from My Recovery with infidelity survivors Lisa Arends and Helen Tower.
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
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