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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer. Each of us has to find out for ourselves what makes our life meaningful. But we can learn from each other, share our experiences of how to navigate the journey, how to endure and learn from the swamp, and finally how to find solid ground. I have decided to use my original training in radio and journalism to interview witnesses for what makes life meaningful. Each week, I invite someone who is a therapist, academic, self-help coach or who has an enlightening personal story to share their knowledge or experiences. I hope our discussions will help you discover what makes your life meaningful and find more purpose and contentment.
Episodes
Monday Dec 11, 2023
Monday Dec 11, 2023
The idea of “imposter syndrome” has found its cultural moment - we hear it talked about constantly, and many of us resonate with the idea of feeling like a fraud in our work or relationships.
In this episode, Susan Schwartz PhD returns to the podcast to help explore the concept of imposter syndrome in more depth. Susan and Andrew discuss
- The ways imposter syndrome is rooted in childhood.
- Painful experiences of imposter syndrome in our romantic relationships
- The difference between presenting different aspects of who we are VS suffering from imposter syndrome.
- The related concept of the “as-if” personality - the individual who goes through life pretending they have a meaningful identity, when at heart, they feel that they do not. This person faces a “conundrum around whether to hide or expose the truth of who they are”.
Susan Schwartz is a Jungian analyst who trained in Switzerland and lives in the USA. She teaches in numerous Jungian programs, workshops, and lectures in the USA and worldwide. She is also a clinical psychologist and member of the International Association of Analytical Psychology. Her new book is Imposter Syndrome and The ‘As-If’ Personality in Analytical Psychology.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
- Ageing, the “As If” personality and Narcissism.
- Three things Susan Schwartz knows to be true.
- AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Read Dr Susan Schwartz’s latest books:
Imposter Syndrome and The ‘As-If’ Personality in Analytical Psychology
The Absent Father Effect on Daughters, Father Desire, Father Wounds.
Listen to Andrew’s previous interview with Dr Susan Schwartz on Fathers and Daughters
Visit Dr Susan Schwartz’s website
Follow Dr Susan Schwartz on Facebook and Instagram
Read Andrew’s book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there https://bit.ly/TheMeaningfulLifeSubstack
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Dec 04, 2023
Monday Dec 04, 2023
Setting boundaries can seem really hard - you wonder how the other person will react, and whether you’re strong enough to manage such a task. You’re perhaps not even sure of the difference between boundary-setting and laying down an ultimatum.
Relationship expert Krystal Mazzola Wood likes to focus on the good news. If you CAN learn to set healthy boundaries, your relationships will grow stronger, livelier and more sustaining.
In this episode Andrew and Krystal discuss how recovering people-pleasers can approach boundary-setting, how to practice setting boundaries and how to find the boundaries that are non-negotiable for you.
Krystal Mazzola Wood is a practicing licensed marriage and family therapist. She works with clients at her private practice, The Healthy Relationship Foundation, which she founded to help people experience greater self-love and deeper intimacy with others.
Krystal is also the author of a number of relationship guides. Her latest book is Setting Boundaries: 100 Ways to Protect Yourself, Strengthen Your Relationships, and Build the Life You Want Starting Now!,
Krystal also maintains a weekly blog, Confidently Authentic, which focuses on balanced, mentally healthy dating and relationship advice.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
- How to Deal with Resentment
- Three things Krystal Mazzola Wood knows to be true.
- AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Buy Krystal Mazzola Wood’s books:
- Setting Boundaries: 100 Ways to Protect Yourself, Strengthen Your Relationships, and Build the Life You Want Starting Now!
- The Codependency Recovery Plan
- The Codependency Workbook
Visit Krystal Mazzola Wood’s website The Healthy Relationship Foundation
Read Krystal Mazzola Wood’s blog Confidently Authentic
Follow Krystal Mazzola Wood on Instagram @krystal_mazzola.
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Nov 27, 2023
Monday Nov 27, 2023
Nobody dreams of becoming a stepmother. Yet for Michelle Brown, a blogger and step-parenting expert, being a step-mother feels like something she was meant to do.
Michelle has a unique bond with her step-son, and through her writing she has also become a light in the darkness for many new step-parents struggling to make things work. Michelle is the first to admit, however, that step-parenting can be painful and exceptionally complex.
In this week’s episode, Andrew and Michelle discuss:
- How society sees step-parents
- The challenges of running a blended family.
- Dealing with your partner’s ex (your step-child’s other parent).
- Defining your role in your step-child’s life.
- Parenting your biological child alongside your step-child.
- Looking after your marriage as a step-parent
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
⭐️What I learned having breakfast with my ex-husband.
⭐️Three things Michelle Brown knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Read Michelle’s writing on step-parenting at www.theponderingnook.com and on Medium
Listen to Michelle’s podcast, The Pondering Stepmom Podcast
Follow Michelle on Instagram and Facebook @theponderingnook and on Twitter @MichellePonders
Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook: Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship https://andrewgmarshall.com/book/the-happy-couples-handbook-powerful-life-hacks-for-a-successful-relationship/
You might also enjoy last week’s episode with therapist Terry Gaspard on Making Your Second Marriage Work.
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Nov 20, 2023
Monday Nov 20, 2023
The divorce rate for second marriages is in most countries higher than the rate for firsts. If you’re onto a second or third marriage (or if you’re contemplating one) you’ll need a strong toolkit.
In this episode, Andrew welcomes marital therapist Terry Gaspard back to the podcast for a second interview, this time to discuss the particular challenges of second marriages. These can include:
- Unfinished business with ex-partners
- Dealing with debts and handling money
- Blending families
- Finding time and space for sex.
Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW, is a licensed clinical social worker with extensive experience in counselling and writing. Her latest book is The Remarriage Manual, and she is also the author of Daughters of Divorce.
Sponsor
This week's episode is sponsored by Biyaku: a sexuality app with the motto: ''Let your libido drive you.'' The app shares a huge variety of practices, including meditations, breath-work, Kegel exercises and even body movement that are specifically designed to help you connect with your libido.
Download the app (iOS or Android) for a free trial for 7 days and see the effects for yourself.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
⭐️How to know if it's a small issue (and not sweat it) or a big one to be resolved
⭐️Three things Terry Gaspard knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall
Buy Terry Gaspard’s new book The Remarriage Manual https://movingpastdivorce.com/the-re-marraige-manual/
Read Terry Gaspard’s first book, Daughters of Divorce https://movingpastdivorce.com/order-daughters-of-divorce/
Visit Terry Gaspard’s website https://movingpastdivorce.com
Follow Terry Gaspard on Twitter/X @MovePastDivorce and on Facebook @movingpastdivorce
Listen to Andrew’s previous interview with Terry Gaspard on Daughters of Divorce: the Long-Term Impact of Marital Breakdown
Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook: Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship https://andrewgmarshall.com/book/the-happy-couples-handbook-powerful-life-hacks-for-a-successful-relationship/
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there https://bit.ly/TheMeaningfulLifeSubstack
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Nov 13, 2023
Monday Nov 13, 2023
Healing from profound exhaustion of the spirit requires more than just thinking of a good plan. Author and Jungian Bea Gonzalez believes in storytelling and myth as powerful tools for healing.
In this episode, Andrew and Bea discuss:
- Why fairy tales have so much to teach us.
- Rediscovering feminine wisdom (which both men and women need)
- How to analyse a fairy tale to find the message it contains for YOU.
- The tale of the Skeleton Woman - Andrew and Bea tell this story section by section, discussing its rich metaphors along the way.
Bea Gonzalez is the creator of Sophia Cycles, a project to bring feminine wisdom back to the world. She is the author of several novels (including Invocation, The Bitter Taste of Time and The Mapmaker’s Opera). Bea is also a lecturer and educator, and has taught classes on the work of Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell all over the world.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
- Code Breaking: Unlocking the symbolic life
- Three things Bea Gonzalez knows to be true.
- AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Read Bea Gonzalez’s new novel, Invocation and her other books, The Bitter Taste of Time and The Mapmaker’s Opera.
Visit Bea Gonzalez’s website https://www.sophiacycles.com/
Follow Bea Gonzalez on Instagram, Twitter/X and YouTube @sophiacycles
You might enjoy Andrew’s other episode on fairy tales, How Fairy Tales Can Refresh & Move You Forward, with Libby Nugent, or his interview with Jungian analyst and author James Hollis on How to be Resilient.
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Nov 06, 2023
Monday Nov 06, 2023
“Shame is a powerful, universal, mysterious emotion. It can be incredibly painful and destructive AND it is designed to protect you” (Sheila Rubin).
Marriage therapist Sheila Rubin is a leading authority on how to heal the shame that might be holding you back in your relationships and your life. In this interview, Andrew and Sheila discuss how to achieve a deeper understanding of your shame, stop resisting it, and even turn it into an ally.
Sheila Rubin, MA, MFT, RDT/BCT is a Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Berkeley, California. She is the Co-Director of the Center for Healing Shame, a continuing education provider that offers Healing Shame workshops to therapists and other helping professionals. Sheila has developed therapy techniques integrating somatic and expressive processes to work with the all-pervasive shame and trauma that underlie eating disorders, addictions and toxic family dynamics. She is also the co-author (along with her husband, Bret Lyon) of a new book, Embracing Shame.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
- Shame and eating disorders
- Three things Sheila Rubin knows to be true.
- AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall
Read Sheila Rubin’s new book, Embracing Shame.
To download a free guidebook, Resilience and Hidden Shame, please visit www.SheilaRubin.com
For more information about Sheila’s Healing Shame workshops, please visit www.HealingShame.com.
Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook: Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship.
Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Oct 30, 2023
Monday Oct 30, 2023
Quitting - jobs, marriages, musical instruments - is often seen as a sign of a weak character. Author and journalist Julia Keller is on a mission to reframe quitting as an act of self-love, which can help us lead more meaningful lives.
This week Andrew and Julia discuss why it is that we value perseverance and “grit” so heavily, how to know when enough is enough, and the art of the “quasi-quit”.
Julia Keller, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, novelist, playwright, and teacher, is the author of Quitting: A Life Strategy / The Myth of Perseverance and How the New Science of Giving Up Can Set You Free.
Julia earned a Ph.D. at Ohio State University, and has taught at Princeton University, The University of Chicago, and the University of Notre Dame, and was a Nieman Fellow at Harvard University. She was the literary critic at The Chicago Tribune for more than a decade before quitting in order to write books. As well as her non-fiction writing Julia is the author of a series of mystery novels, a science fiction series for young adults.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
⭐️How to ask good questions.
⭐️Three things Julia Keller knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Buy Julia Keller’s new book Quitting: A Life Strategy
Visit Julia Keller’s website
Follow Julia Keller on Facebook @Julia.Keller.Writer
Read Andrew’s book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Oct 23, 2023
Monday Oct 23, 2023
Most couples grapple with mismatched levels of sexual desire at some point. Some find destructive solutions - pornography, infidelity - but it IS possible to deal with this in a positive way.
This week Fabian Edzard Schneider chats with Andrew about the daily self-pleasure routine he is using to fulfil his sexual needs while his wife recuperates from the birth of their second child.
Andrew and Fabian discuss the ways in which men can take responsibility for their own physical and emotional needs, and in doing so create a better life as a strong, loving man of vision and self-understanding.
Fabian Edzard Schneider is based in Gottingen, Germany. He specialises in empowering men to lead happier, more self-fulfilling lives. Fabian leads men’s groups that focus on the practical and the physical, rather than on theoretical understanding.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
⭐️How can men get to know themselves better?
⭐️Three things Fabian Edzard Schneider knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall
Fabian Edzard Schneider runs an in-person and online training programme for men called MenEncounter. The training focuses on masculine identity, self-empowerment, vision, and implementation of heart-driven projects as well as sexuality and relationship. Take a look here: https://fabianedzard.com/start/
You might also enjoy Andrew’s interviews with Venus O’Hara on Spiritual Sex, with Silva Neves on How to Heal Compulsive Sexual Behaviour, or with Irene Fehr on Why Desire Disappears.
Get Andrew’s advice on building a stronger relationship in his book The Happy Couple’s Handbook: Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Oct 16, 2023
Monday Oct 16, 2023
Forget fair fighting, what you and your partner should aim for is win-win problem solving. According to psychologist Dr Susan Heitler, If you can learn to investigate and share the deep-seated emotions behind a particular argument, the two of you can emerge stronger and more connected as a couple.
In this week’s episode, Andrew and Susan explore how childhood patterns can be replicated in adult relationships, and discuss a case-study in which a couple is able to overcome a disagreement over food waste that had brought them to the brink of divorce.
Dr Susan Heitler is a Harvard-educated clinical psychologist with a doctorate from NYU. She has authored multiple self-help books, plus books for therapists on treatment techniques. She aims to show how to handle life's bumps—the conflicts, difficult interactions, negative feelings, traumas, and tough decisions—in ways that sustain a sense of well-being. Dr Heitler’s articles on Psychology Today have received over 24 million reads.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
⭐️What can marriage counselling do that individual work cannot?
⭐️Three things Susan Heitler knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Visit Susan Heitler’s websites: prescriptionswithoutpills.com and therapyhelp.com
Read Susan Heitler’s books, including Prescriptions Without Pills and The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong and Loving Marriage.
Read Susan Heitler’s articles for Psychology Today
Watch Susan Heitler’s TEDX talk on Lift Depression With These Three Prescriptions - Without Pills.
You might also enjoy Andrew’s interviews with Avrum Weiss on Couples and Anxiety; or with Tonya Lester on How to Have Healthy Conflict.
Get Andrew’s advice on building a stronger relationship in his book The Happy Couple’s Handbook: Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Oct 09, 2023
Monday Oct 09, 2023
If you wanted children but weren’t able to have them, you are tasked with making peace with a life you didn’t choose. This grieving process occurs inside a culture that often has little respect for the childless.
In this episode, Andrew speaks with psychotherapist Jody Day about grief, how ageing is different if you are not a parent, and how to find meaning, purpose and identity in what can feel like a very negative social context.
Jody Day is the British founder of Gateway Women, the global support & advocacy network for childless women. She’s the author of what many professionals consider to be the ‘go-to’ book on the topic, Living the Life Unexpected: How to find hope, meaning and a fulfilling future without children.
Jody was chosen as one of the BBC’s 100 Women in 2013 & a UK Digital Woman of the Year in 2021. She is a global thought leader on female involuntary childlessness, a psychotherapist, a 2017 and 2022 TEDx speaker, a founding and former board member at the UK Charity Ageing Without Children and a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School.
Often referred to as the founder of the ‘childless movement’ and less often, but more memorably as ‘the Beyonce of childlessness', she’s been an Ambassador for World Childless Week since its inception in 2017. After a lifetime in London, she now lives by the sea in West Cork, rural Ireland, where she’s completing a novel (featuring a childless heroine of course!) and nurturing her emerging Gateway Elderwomen project.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
⭐️ How to get your mojo back.
⭐️Three things Jody Day knows to be true.
⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall
Details about Jody Day’s book Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children can be found here and you can download the Introduction and Chapter 1 free, here. There is a live reading group for those working through the book in Jody’s online community.
Visit Gateway Women, the global support & advocacy network for childless women.
Follow Jody Day on Instagram and Twitter @gatewaywomen and on Facebook @GatewayWomenUK.
You might also enjoy Andrew’s interview with author Shani Silver A New Perspective on Being Single
Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall