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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer. Each of us has to find out for ourselves what makes our life meaningful. But we can learn from each other, share our experiences of how to navigate the journey, how to endure and learn from the swamp, and finally how to find solid ground. I have decided to use my original training in radio and journalism to interview witnesses for what makes life meaningful. Each week, I invite someone who is a therapist, academic, self-help coach or who has an enlightening personal story to share their knowledge or experiences. I hope our discussions will help you discover what makes your life meaningful and find more purpose and contentment.
Episodes
Monday May 13, 2024
Monday May 13, 2024
Each month, 20% of us embark on a new diet. Sadly, 95% of all diets prove unsuccessful. According to psychologist and author Dr Pam Spurr, emotional eating to soothe difficult feelings is to blame.
This week Andrew and Pam discuss the ways emotional eating is culturally ingrained, other strategies to self-soothe and how you can develop a more holistic approach to your health. Pam also offers some advice to Andrew on his struggles with his doctor’s orders to cut back on crisps and crackers!
Dr Pam Spurr is an academic and a psychologist who works mainly in the media, including as an agony aunt. She also works as a well-being consultant to city corporations where she triages employees for psychological services.
Pam has written 15 self-help books on topics from happiness to dating and The Emotional Eater's Diet. Her first children’s book is Eva the Bear and the Magic Snowflake and has just been published.
Pam has had countless magazine and newspaper columns over the years, including in The Times, the Sun, the Express and in media outlets from Cosmo Bride to MSN and many others. She regularly appears on TV programmes including Sky News, Talk TV, GB News and the BBC. She was a popular contributor on the Big Brother shows for 12 years.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
- Ten essential principles to change your life
- Three things Dr Pam Spurr knows to be true.
- AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools
Read Dr Pam Spurr’s new book for children Eva the Bear and the Magic Snowflake
Read Dr Pam Spurr’s book The Emotional Eater’s Diet
Read Dr Pam Spurr’s other books about sex and relationships.
Visit Dr Pam Spurr’s website
Follow Dr Pam Spurr on Twitter/X and Instagram @drpamspurr
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday May 06, 2024
Monday May 06, 2024
As a child, were you made to feel like your feelings didn’t matter, while your parents’ feelings loomed large? Were your boundaries repeatedly crossed? Were you emotionally neglected? If so, you may have been raised by emotionally immature parents.
In this episode Andrew talks to TikTok's popular healing transformation coach Dr. Kai Tai Kevin Qiu, the author of Emotionally Immature Parents: A Recovery Workbook for Adult Children.
Andrew and Kai discuss:
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How to know if your parents were emotionally immature.
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Creating boundaries in the present day
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Processing difficult memories
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Developing a non-judgmental approach towards yourself, others and even your parents.
Dr Kai Tai Kevin Qiu is the founder of Boundaries to Freedom, a healing transformation coach, digital nomad, and digital creator. His holistic and practical approach is based on his experience studying medicine, personal development, positive psychology, Buddhism, and spirituality. He is a first generation Chinese-Canadian currently living part-time in Thailand, Canada, and Europe.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
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Setting consequences if your parents can't stay within the boundaries.
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Three things Dr Kai Tai Kevin Qiu knows to be true.
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AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools
Visit Dr Kai’s website
Get Dr Kai’s book Emotionally Immature Parents: A Recovery Workbook for Adult Children
Take Dr Kai’s Am I Emotionally Immature Quiz
Follow Dr Kai on Instagram and TikTok @hicoachkai
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Apr 29, 2024
Monday Apr 29, 2024
Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse in which a gaslighter undermines and controls another person by deflecting, twisting, and denying their reality. Gaslighting leaves victims second-guessing themselves, unable to make decisions and destabilised by constant shifts in reality.
In this week’s episode, Andrew talks to author and psychoanalyst Dr Robin Stern about gaslighting, and how to pull yourself out of this form of emotional abuse. Andrew and Robin discuss what makes you vulnerable to gaslighting, how to build your capacity to trust yourself, and how to identify the gaslight effect in different relationships. Robin also shares her personal experiences of gaslighting.
Dr Robin Stern co-founded the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence with Marc Brackett and currently serves as the senior advisor to the director. She is the author of The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life, and a follow-up workbook edition, The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide. She launched The Gaslight Effect Podcast in 2022.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
- Gaslighting in the workplace.
- Three things Dr Robin Stern knows to be true.
- AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools
Read Dr Robin Stern’s books The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life, and The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide.
Visit Dr Robin Stern’s website
Listen to the Gaslight Effect Podcast
Follow Dr Robin Stern on Instagram @dr.robinstern, on Facebook @drrobinstern and Twitter/X @RobinSStern.
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Apr 22, 2024
Monday Apr 22, 2024
Sex and pornography addiction is on the rise. It can affect young and old, rich and poor, male and female. Those who are in the grip of this type of addiction struggle to create and maintain "real-life" relationships, and their partners may experience feelings of grief and betrayal.
In this episode Andrew talks with psychotherapist Dr Paula Hall about pornography and sex addiction. Andrew and Paula discuss:
- What we mean by “addiction” in this context.
- How pornography can wreck a couple’s sex life.
- Starting your recovery.
- Moving forward as a couple if one of you has a pornography or sex addiction.
Dr Paula Hall is the founder of the Laurel Centre, and the author of 4 books on sex and porn addiction, as well as two Relate Guides, and Improving Your Relationship for Dummies. Her most recent venture is founding the not-for-profit organisation, Pivotal Recovery, to provide anonymous, accessible, professional self-help for people struggling with sex and porn addiction.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
- New life after addiction.
- Three things Paula Hall knows to be true.
- AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools.
Read Dr Paula Hall’s books, including Sex Addiction: The Partner’s Perspective and Sex Addiction: A Guide for Couples and Those Who Help Them.
Visit the Laurel Centre website for resources on pornography and sex addiction, including videos, articles, courses and counselling options.
Watch the video The Road to Brighton, which is discussed in this episode.
Visit the Pivotal Recovery website for an affordable, online therapy-based programme to quit porn addiction, sex addiction and compulsive sexual behaviours.
Follow Dr Paula Hall on Twitter/X @paulahall_psych.
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Apr 15, 2024
Monday Apr 15, 2024
An anxious attachment style is very common, and can lead to chaotic and unsuccessful relationships. Research suggests that anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviours that get in the way of finding and sustaining love.
In this episode psychotherapist Jessica Baum talks with Andrew about identifying and understanding our attachment style, and building the inner resources required to create more secure, happier relationships.
Jessica Baum is the founder of The Relationship Institute of Palm Beach, and the author of Anxiously Attached: How to Heal and Feel More Secure in Love. She created the Self-full Method to help people in both one-on-one and online transformational group coaching who are struggling with anxiety, relationship conflict, marital issues, and codependent relationships.
Subscriber Content This Week
If you’re a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you’ll be hearing:
- When does anxious attachment become love addiction or codependency?
- Three things Jessica Baum knows to be true.
- AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools
Read Jessica Baum’s book Anxiously Attached: How to Heal and Feel More Secure in Love.
Visit Jessica Baum’s website to learn more about her work, including the Self-full method.
Follow Jessica Baum on Instagram and YouTube @jessicabaumlmhc and on Facebook @beselffull
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Apr 08, 2024
Monday Apr 08, 2024
People-pleasing is an ultimately futile and self-defeating approach to life. If we focus on making everyone else happy, we can end up frustrated, confused and resentful. Ironically, in trying to be “Mr Nice Guy”, people-pleasers often end up driven into behaviour that is anything but nice.
This week Andrew talks to therapist and author Dr Robert Glover about why people-pleasing is an inauthentic way to exist, and how it often leads to destructive patterns including:
- Giving to get
- Difficulty setting boundaries
- Dishonesty
- Caretaking,
- Fixing
- Codependency,
- Conflict avoidance,
- Passive-aggressiveness,
- Unsatisfying relationships,
- Issues with sexuality.
Dr. Robert Glover, therapist, coach, speaker, and educator is a relationship expert with over 40 years of professional experience. The author of the groundbreaking, No More Mr. Nice Guy, Dr. Glover has helped thousands of men world-wide transform their lives and get what they want in their careers and relationships.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools
Visit Dr Robert Glover’s website and take a look at some of the ways you can work with him, including workshops, online classes and one-to-one consultations.
Buy Dr Robert Glover’s books No More Mr Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life and Dating Essentials for Men: Frequently Asked Questions.
Follow Dr Robert Glover on YouTube @drrobertglover
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Apr 01, 2024
Monday Apr 01, 2024
If our partner really loved us, wouldn’t everything be a lot easier? If they were “the one”, surely we wouldn’t be losing our minds over towels dropped on the bathroom floor?
In this episode marital therapist Dr Cheryl Fraser joins Andrew to discuss the destructive myth of the soulmate. According to Cheryl, there is no such thing as a soulmate. When we set aside the naive expectation that love will conquer all, we can begin to learn the skills required to build lasting intimacy.
Dr Cheryl Fraser is the author of Buddha’s Bedroom, and the therapist behind the Become Passion online immersion program for couples. Cheryl has helped thousands of couples jump-start their love life and create passion that lasts a lifetime. She lives in Vancouver, and is regularly featured in Mindful and Best Health magazines. Cheryl was also a Fulbright scholar, and has studied meditation and Buddhism for twenty-five years, in both the Tibetan and Theravaden traditions.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools
Join one of Dr Cheryl Fraser’s free online couple workshops and find out more about her Become Passion programme.
Take Dr Cheryl Fraser’s Passion Quiz and rate your relationship.
Read Dr Cheryl Fraser’s book, Buddha’s Bedroom.
Follow Dr Cheryl on Facebook and YouTube
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Mar 25, 2024
Monday Mar 25, 2024
Good therapy changes lives: people stop worrying as much, they make better decisions, they are kinder to themselves and their loved ones, they achieve more at work, they can control their anger, they are able to stop destructive habits, they form loving relationships.
This week therapists Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton talk to Andrew about their new book, A Straight Talking Introduction to Therapy. Matt and Graham both experienced the transformative power of effective therapy, and both left lucrative, high-status careers to retrain as therapists. They discuss the evidence that therapy works, which type of therapy to choose, and why it works so well.
Graham Johnston is a psychotherapist and educator. He is Director of Policy at The Bowlby Centre, the UK’s leading training institution in attachment-based psychotherapy, and has also worked for the UK Government, specialising in home affairs. He and Matt Wotton are the Co-Founders and Directors of LCAP.
Matt Wotton is a psychotherapist and executive coach, and also Chair of The Bowlby Centre and Director at LCAP. Matt has over two decades of experience in forensic mental health in the criminal justice system - in operations, coaching leaders, and advising ministers. He led the review of Race in the Criminal Justice System (The Lammy Review), commissioned by the Prime Minister, and has been a member of the Prison & Probation Board.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things https://andrewgmarshall.com/download/
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools https://courses.andrewgmarshall.com/relationship-tools
Read Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton’s new book A Straight Talking Introduction to Therapy: What it Is, Why it Works, How to Get it
Learn more about the London Centre for Applied Psychology (LCAP), where Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton work as Directors.
Learn more about The Bowlby Centre, the UK’s leading training institution in attachment-based psychotherapy.
Follow LCAP on Twitter and Facebook @LCAPsychology.
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Mar 18, 2024
Monday Mar 18, 2024
How can we live with loss? What can we do when death shakes to the core our comfortable belief that life is predictable, the world is just, and people are reliable?
This week Dr Robert A. Neimeyer of the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition joins Andrew to discuss the work of grief.
Andrew and Robert discuss the task of rebuilding meaning in the face of death, relationship breakdown or unwelcome life transitions. Robert shares his “six tasks of grief”, which are designed to help integrate loss into our lives.
Dr Robert A. Neimeyer directs the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition, actively practices as a trainer, consultant and coach, and has published over 600 articles and 35 books, most on grieving as a meaning-making process. His most recent books are New Techniques of Grief Therapy with Routledge and The Handbook of Grief Therapies with Sage.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things https://andrewgmarshall.com/download/
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools https://courses.andrewgmarshall.com/relationship-tools
Read Dr Robert A. Neimeyer’s books, New Techniques of Grief Therapy and The Handbook of Grief Therapies.
Find out more about the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition https://www.portlandinstitute.org/about-us .
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
Monday Mar 11, 2024
Monday Mar 11, 2024
Have you allowed yourself to explore your sexual fantasies, or do they feel like dark territory that is off-limits? Have you explored them with your partner?
This week I talk to Jungian psychotherapist Dr Douglas Thomas about his new book, The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink. We cover:
- Why it’s so hard to talk about your fantasies with your partner.
- How Jungian archetypes can provide a language to better understand BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) and kink.
- Whether BDSM can be a path to individuation and bringing soul into the world.
Dr Douglas Thomas is an author and a Jungian psychotherapist in private practice in California. He has presented workshops and talks throughout the state of California on LGBTQ issues and on dream therapy, his two areas of specialization. He teaches at the Pacifica Graduate Institute. Dr. Thomas holds a masters degree from the USC School of Social Work, and a PhD in Depth Psychology with an emphasis in psychotherapy from Pacifica Graduate Institute.
Follow Up
Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things https://andrewgmarshall.com/download/
Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools https://courses.andrewgmarshall.com/relationship-tools
Buy Dr Douglas Thomas’ new book, The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink https://www.amazon.com/Deep-Psychology-BDSM-Kink/dp/1032122072
Visit Dr Douglas Thomas’ website https://www.drdouglasthomas.com
Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: https://www.patreon.com/andrewgmarshall
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall